Almost Alone
by Karristan
Summary: When a relationship ends one often seeks comfort in others whether its emotional comfort or physical but what happens when love blossoms from this comfort? Can they get past the hurt that would turn this into no more then an attempt to forget another? If it does succeed then there is still the matter of secrecy as a relationship between the dead and the living is looked down on.
1. Chapter 1

_1 A distant morning_

She opened her eyes and found she was alone on the bed that she normally shared with someone she cared for deeply. Her hand moved to where he normally slept as a frown formed on her face. This wasn't the first time she had woken to an empty bed nor was it the first time she wondered what he was really up to. She trusted him completely but she got this feeling on occasion that something was wrong and that their love wasn't as strong as it was before. It was like it had faded away between them and there was no more point in romance.

A sigh escaped her as she sat up and glanced around the empty room. She already knew he wasn't in the house and he was off somewhere again. Most of the time she knew where he was and he usually told her when he had to leave but lately he had stopped. They both knew that putting voice to his leave wasn't completely necessary as she knew where he went and was able to find him no matter what but without it being voiced she felt almost left behind.

She got off the bed and walked to the closet where she left the small amount of things in her possession. It wasn't long before she was dressed in her school uniform and heading for the window to glance out of it in hopes of seeing him on his way back only to be disappointed once more but not surprised as she found that his presence wasn't anywhere close to here but she always looked for him anyways in hopes of him returning to take her in his arms.

To her it felt as though things were starting to fall apart between them and she wasn't fond of that thought but it always lingered in her mind and she feared putting voice to it. This thought was very persistent for her however and it continued to press worry into her mind as her fears and uncertainties grew. She closed her eyes and turned away from the window as the alarm clock went off on the bedside table.

It was shut off as she sat back down on the bed with a saddened mood as she wondered when he left her. There were still a couple hours before she would have to leave for school. At least he would be there and they could spend some time together out of the house and without any danger. But even at school there was always the possibility that danger may appear. Maybe not close to them but it wouldn't matter since it would still be their duty to take care of it.

She sat on the bed in deep thought for awhile as there wasn't much else for her to do in the time that she had before heading off for school. However she wouldn't be sitting there quietly the whole time as she originally thought, "Up already?"

Her gaze turned over to the door where she found her lover walking in. A warm smile dawned on her face at the sight of him as her worries were put aside and she rose from the bed to go over to him, "Good morning, Ichigo."

When she got to him she wrapped her arms around his waist as he did the same while he leaned down to kiss her. It didn't last long before they separated and they looked deep into the others eyes, "You look beautiful this morning, Rukia."

Her smile warmed at his words but the look in his eyes concerned her. He looked as though he was hurt but there were no wounds on his body so it must be something else that's going on. "Is everything alright, Ichigo?"

He let out a slight sigh and said, "Everything's fine, I'm just a little tired right now."

"Do you want to get some rest before school?" She asked kindly. "I'll wake you up as well so you don't need to worry about oversleeping."

"I think I might stay home today." He replied. "I'm not feeling the greatest."

She reached up and placed her wrist on his forehead with a concerned look, "You feel fine but if you're not up for it then you should relax. You've been pretty busy lately so maybe things are just starting to catch up with you."

"Maybe," He agreed as he released her and walked over to the bed and laid down with a bit of a sigh.

Rukia followed him and sat by his side as she took his hand and leaned over to kiss him once more. Their kiss extended as she shifted to a laying position on his side and they continued. He placed his hand on her waist and slid it around her lower back as he pulled her closer to him. The kiss soon became heated and Ichigo's hand went lower before going back up under her shirt.

A sharp twinge in Rukia's chest made her stop and pull away from the kiss but she didn't let it seem like she pulled away because of what he was doing, "I thought you were tired."

"I thought you wanted me to relax." Ichigo said with a slight smirk. "Wasn't that your plan?"

"Do you honestly believe I need a plan for this?" Rukia said.

They smiled a little before they resumed the kiss and Ichigo entered her mouth. Rukia repositioned herself over him as she allowed her hands to rest on his waist. They continued without rest or pause as their intimacy became more heated. Once more there was a sharp twinge in Rukia's chest but this time she ignored it and continued on at a quicker pace. There were no complaints on either side as they both went farther.

Ichigo let his hand move to Rukia's chest as her hand went to his pant line. The kiss halted as Rukia pulled away with a smile and undid her shirt with her free hand. When she was finished their lips joined once more and they continued with more ease until they pulled apart at the sound of small beeping. They both sighed as Rukia got off of Ichigo and began doing up her shirt. When she was done she got off the bed, "I'll take care of this one, you should get some rest while you can."

He gave her a concerned look as she swallowed a soul candy and left her gigai before going to the window where she stopped and glanced back at him with a warm smile, "I'll be back soon so try to get some rest."

"Yeah," Ichigo said as she hoped out the window.

Rukia hurried to where the hollow had appeared so she could return to the Kurosaki house sooner and have some time with Ichigo before she had to head off to school for the day. The hollow was on the other side of town making this more time consuming then she would have liked it to be. A sigh escaped her as she realized how much she hated it when hollows appeared while she was being intimate and it was even worse when they were far away as it not just ruined the mood but the time they had together.

While she travelled through the air her mind was once more drawn to the uncertainty with Ichigo as well as the twinge she felt in her chest whenever the two were intimate. It had been subtle at first but then it just started to get worse and now each one carried a sharp pain with it and it was always followed by a brief sadness. She had always done her best to conceal this from Ichigo but she was no longer certain that it was really working as he had become almost distant towards her.

She reached the other side of town and searched the area for any signs of the hollow and soon spotted it nearby. Her zanpakutou was unsheathed and she lunged at it not caring much whether it saw her or not. This one was small and practically helpless under her amount of skill. When it did spot her it was already too late as her blade cut through it with ease. But as it began to disappear neither Rukia nor her blade found satisfaction in this. It was time for her to become stronger and fight more challenging battles.

Once more she sighed sadly while sheathing her zanpakutou before heading back to her lover as fast as she could. She flew over the town while occasionally looking down into the streets for familiarities in the humans below or just the street or houses. She hardly recognized any of the humans but she did recognize some of the uniforms as the one for Karakura high school. The most she recognized were the houses and streets as she had gone over them many times before while she was on duty. Now she didn't do it as much because her orders had changed and her relationship prevented small patrols over the town for the sake of time spent with her lover.

As she reached the Kurosaki home she snuck back into Ichigo's window only to find he was already asleep on the bed. A warm yet sad smile formed on her face at the sight of him. It was warm for the simple fact that he was here as well as resting but it was sad because he wasn't awake so they couldn't spend time with one another for a little bit more before school. She went to his side and sat on the side of the bed to take his hand while her heart ached inside her chest at their growing distance.

For a long time she just stayed there by his side watching him sleep with the same expression on her face. She wanted him to wake up and look at her with a smile. She wanted things to be the way they had been before all the awkwardness began between them. A small content breath escaped her as she released his hand and went back to her gigai so she could go to school and let him rest in peace.

He got one final glance before she left the room from the window as she always did. Rukia walked down the street at a slow and saddened pace as she continued to feel the distance between them grow even more. As she reached the corner of the street she found a familiar face and it brightened her mood a little as this small chance at conversation would take her mind of her relationship problems for a short while at least but that would be enough to clear away all the uncertainties and doubts the circled her mind.

"Good morning, Tatsuki." Rukia called brightly catching the other girl's attention. "Are you off to meet up with Orihime again?"

"Morning," Tatsuki replied with a lesser attitude. "Yeah, it's on the way so I meet her every morning. If I didn't she'd probably sleep all day."

"It must be nice to be able to do that." Rukia said kindly. "I'd be lucky if I got to sleep past eight."

"It figures you'd be an early riser." Tatsuki said with a slight smirk. "You're always in a bright mood."

"My mood is perfectly normal." Rukia argued. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with it."

"I never said there was." Tatsuki said. "I was just saying that nothing ever seems to bring you down, whether it's school or anything else."

Rukia just shrugged, "My mood can be brought down. It's not like I'm a robot or something."

"The day you're in a bad mood is the day pigs fly." Tatsuki stated confidently. "I should get going before Orihime thinks she got up early and goes back to bed. You're welcome to join though if you want to."

"Sure, I wouldn't mind." Rukia said brightly but deep down very grateful that her mind would be put off her distance with Ichigo for awhile longer.

The two started down the street in a direction Rukia didn't normally take to get to school since she found it to be a detour. A slight smile formed on her face as she glanced over at Tatsuki, "You know this isn't actually on the way to school and that it's actually a detour, right?"

"It's close enough." Tatsuki shrugged. "Besides, Orihime's my best friend so I don't mind going out of my way too much for her. She'd do the same for me also so I can't complain."

"If you lived closer to the school you'd still backtrack to go get her." Rukia said with a slight laugh.

"If I didn't get her every morning she'd sleep all day." Tatsuki stated once more.

"It doesn't change the fact that you would go out of your way for her regardless." Rukia said with a warm smile. "You two must be really good friends to have that between you."

Tatsuki looked over at her almost taken aback by the sudden warmth in her voice only to smile with her as she said, "Yeah, we're really close and that won't ever change."

Rukia's smile faded as she remembered having those thoughts when she and Ichigo had first became lovers. At that time she believed nothing could ever go wrong between them now there was distance and uncertainties. "Try as you might some things change and it's just out of your control."

This time Tatsuki was taken aback by the depth of sadness in Rukia's voice, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's nothing to worry about." Rukia said as she forced the usual bright mood she had around the humans she wasn't close to. "Things will work themselves out in time."

Tatsuki gave her a concerned look as they came to a stop at Orihime's home. Her concern didn't let up even as Orihime came down the stairs in a hurry with apologies of oversleeping. Rukia paid little mind to it as they continued on while Orihime's main focus was on Tatsuki but it occasionally went to her as her upset mood seemed to have snuck up on her in the conversation. Now she just wanted to go back to Ichigo and express her concern to him but she continued on with the two girls as they talked.

Most of the trip was made in silence on her part but the other two conversed in conversation but it began to die down when they had picked up on her bad mood as it wasn't exactly hidden but neither of them knew what to say to her as they didn't want to make things worse. The silence continued on as all attention had gone to Rukia even though she feigned ignorance to it so that she may avoid any conversation on the matter that concerned them. But conversation was inevitable as Orihime asked, "Is everything alright, Rukia?"

"Yes, it's fine." She replied without looking over or trying to fake a bright mood. "There's no need to be concerned about me, everything is fine."

Orihime and Tatsuki exchanged a worried look. It wasn't long before Tatsuki brought it on herself to attempt something, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Rukia insisted.

Once more the other two shared a worried look but their worry grew deeper as they pried once more, "If you need to talk about it you can always come talk to once of us and we'll do what we can to help out."

"That won't be necessary." Rukia said without much of a care.

This time they both stopped her in her tracks and looked her in the eye as Orihime said, "Rukia, if something's bothering you then let us know because we're worried about you. You're a good friend so I don't want to see you upset."

"I assure you everything is fine." Rukia said reassuringly. "I just have a few things on my mind and nothing more then that."

They both gave her a concerned look so Rukia smiled and said, "If anything were bothering me then I would tell you so don't worry so much."

Their worry continued to grow in their eyes but they halted their pursuit all the same as they continued to school. Even with their concern silenced Rukia could still feel it as well as their eyes as they shifted towards her every now and then. She chose to ignore it and focus on more important matters and more of the cheerful times she had spent with Ichigo as he was still on her mind a lot. As much as it bothered her she ignored all the problems arising between them. It was an unwelcome subject for her to think about.

It was a few minutes before they arrived at the school but by this time Rukia was in no mood for others so she left the others girls without word but as she left Orihime called out an invitation for lunch so she waved her response though had yet to even consider it properly. It was safe to say that it depended vastly on her mood at the time.


	2. Chapter 2

_2 Lunchtime conversations_

Rukia walked around the side of the school in the same down mood she had in the morning. It was now lunch and she had decided to try and take her mind off of things by taking Orihime up on her offer. She went to where that small group of humans normally spent their lunch. As she approached them she noticed that already there were two pairs of eyes on her and they both held their concern from the earlier hours of the day. Regret sank into her as Orihime hurried over to greet her kindly as well as express her concern once more.

"I'm glad you decided to join us, Rukia." Orihime said brightly. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine." Rukia said with a forced smile.

Once more she got a concerned look before they went to the group as more eyes had fallen on them though it was more of a mix of confusion and intrigue as Rukia wasn't one to spend much time with these humans. Her time was most spent with Ichigo though their relationship was kept very quiet to everyone that knew them and that didn't know them. They were very careful with their interactions so it wasn't seen as a liability to some in certain, dangerous, situations.

They sat down and the conversation resumed as it had before Rukia had joined them. They proceeded like she wasn't there or a normal member of their group. Rukia sat in silence but still had the attention of two humans sitting there, Orihime and Tatsuki. They were already aware of her mood but knew it was unlikely that she would talk about it around this many people. Their concern wasn't voiced as it would only bring more questions around and it would be a wasted effort.

Rukia sat in silence and distanced herself from the others and their oblivious cheerful mood. She listened to their conversation distantly and found it was similar to what was bothering her now but she didn't dare put voice to any similarities as of yet. Currently it was Chizuru speaking about another girl she had found while Mahana shot down any theory that came up on getting this girl into a relationship. There were a few laughs around the group before they fell into a bit of a silence.

At this point Rukia almost wanted to put voice to her uncertainties but didn't know how to go about it properly without raising too many questions about her own situation. As conversation picked up once more Rukia withdrew from them with the loss of her chance at conversation but faintly kept track of what they said. Once more it circled what persisted in her mind but lingered a bit further then it had before but not by much. Again the conversation was led mostly by Chizuru as she seemed to be the only one that became interested in some human all the time.

As this topic slowed down and came to an end Rukia decided to brave her unease about her own problems, "It seems you've been in a lot of relationships, Chizuru."

All minor conversation stopped at her comment as she became the main point of focus all around. It was a moment before she was answered, but not by Chizuru as she had expected instead it was Tatsuki who commented, "She wishes she were in a lot of relationships. Even if she managed to find a girlfriend it wouldn't last long."

"It would definitely last long." Chizuru argued.

"Yeah right." Tatsuki laughed. "Even if you did find someone that would date you as soon as you see another girl you think is cute you would get dumped for the way you act."

The last comment got a few laughs as Chizuru gave Tatsuki an angered look before bringing her attention back to Rukia, "Why bring it up?"

Rukia looked away as everyone fell silent once more and brought their attention back to her as she quietly spoke, "I guess I was just looking for some advice."

"I wouldn't get any advice from her if I were you." Ryou said. "She's not the best when it comes to getting someone's attention properly."

"I don't need that sort of advice." Rukia said. "I already have his attention."

"Then what's up?" Chizuru asked.

"Have any of you been intimate with anyone else?" Rukia asked with hesitation on the word.

They all looked around their group as if waiting for someone to step up but most of their gaze stopped at Chizuru almost expectantly. When she noticed all the attention she let out a sigh, "It depends on what you mean by 'intimate'. I never did anything more then kiss someone."

"That might do." Rukia said. "Have you ever felt any sort of sharp pain during it?"

"What do you mean by that?" Chizuru asked.

"Well, whenever I'm holding him I feel a sharp pain in my chest." Rukia said. "It even happens when we're intimate."

"Define intimate." Chizuru said with a slight smile.

"Don't even go there." Tatsuki said quickly. "She's just being a pervert again."

There was a bit of a silence in the group as everyone watched Chizuru as she thought about it for a moment. It wasn't long before she met Rukia's eyes once more and she said, "The only things I can really think of is that your heart knows what you're doing is wrong or you don't really love this guy."

"That's not it at all." Rukia denied immediately. "I do love him and nothing feels wrong when I'm with him."

"Maybe he's cheating on you." Chizuru suggested. "Men are pigs."

"There's no way that's possible." Rukia denied.

"Is this feeling one sided or does he get it too?" Michiru asked.

Rukia fell silent recalling the distance between the two of them. Eventually she spoke up again hopeful to bring the attention away from her once more sooner, "I don't know but he might. He's been distant towards me lately and we haven't talked much about these things."

"That might be something to talk to him about." Chizuru said.

She nodded distantly but said no more wanting the attention away from her but Chizuru wouldn't let up now with news of a relationship, "So who is this guy anyways?"

"You wouldn't know him." Rukia said. "It's a long distance relationship now."

They fell silent but the silence didn't last long as Orihime spoke up, "I didn't know you and Renji were in a relationship."

"I'm not in a relationship with Renji." Rukia said to avoid future questions if the two were in a room together with Orihime. "It's someone else."

"Have I met him?" Orihime asked as she thought about all of the people that could possibly be in a relationship with Rukia.

"No, you haven't met him." Rukia said. "It's unlikely that you ever will meet him."

Orihime looked a bit down at this knowledge but didn't voice any complaints as everyone went back to their lunch knowing the conversation was over. Their lunch was eaten in an awkward silence as they were still taken aback with Rukia asking for advice. It was stranger still the topic and the person that was asked about it. Though it was understandable that Chizuru would be an ideal person to ask considering how she always went about finding some cute girl. The shock was that it was coming from Rukia when she seemed pretty withdrawn from others even with her bright and friendly attitude towards most people.

Rukia avoided all their eyes even though they were no longer on her as she thought about what Chizuru had said to her. She didn't want to believe that she didn't really love Ichigo or that there may be someone else for him and there was no way what they were doing was wrong. She knew where her feelings were but now there was even some doubt about that. Everything Chizuru had said only brought more doubt to her mind that joined the uncertainties and distance as they circled her thoughts.

A slight sigh escaped her as she rose from her sitting position, "I should go."

All eyes were on her once more as all conversation died. Now all of them were giving her a worried look as they all knew something was wrong but now they all knew what it was about. No one stopped her as she walked away but Orihime hurried after her to make sure everything was alright. When they were out of earshot Tatsuki brought her attention to Chizuru, "Why did you have to say that? She's obviously upset about this and you just crushed her."

"It's most likely what's going on." Chizuru said. "It's better to hear this from me then him since it would be even worse if she weren't expecting it."

"You're still an idiot for that." Tatsuki said with a slight sigh as she looked over at Rukia and Orihime as they walked away. "Considering that she never asks anyone for anything, even help, this must really be affecting her. She shouldn't have had to hear that even if it is the most likely of things to happen. I'm sure anyone could see that."

"Yeah," Chizuru agreed sadly. "But it's still better to be expecting it _especially_ if this is affecting her so much. Imagine what would happen if she weren't expecting to hear it. I know she's a strong person but everyone has a weakness and a breaking point."

Orihime caught up to Rukia but didn't voice her concern as it was unnecessary to do so. All she said was, "Do you need anything? Even if it's just talking about it, I'm here for you."

"I know, Orihime." Rukia said. "Thank you for being such a kind friend."

"If you ever need anything just let me know." Orihime said kindly.

"I will." Rukia said even though she doubted it.

"Do you want some company right now?" She asked.

"I could do without it but if you're that worried about me I won't send you away." Rukia said.

Orihime smiled faintly but said no more until they reached the school gate where she slowed to a stop, "You're really upset about this aren't you?"

Rukia glanced back quickly and said nothing before continuing off of school grounds. Orihime hesitated as she knew it wasn't good to miss class without good reason but her concern for Rukia was too great for her to just abandon the girl now. She hurried after Rukia and caught up to her with a bit more ease then before. They walked down the street in an ongoing silence as the only thing that could be brought up was an unwelcome topic for even her as she would be at a loss of what to say. For Rukia however just having someone around her was enough comfort as she couldn't exactly tell Orihime who she was with. That was an even more unwelcome topic.

They got a few blocks away from school before anything was even said, "So where are we going anyways?"

"I was thinking about leaving Karakura for a couple of hours just to sort everything out without much to distract me." Rukia said calmly. "I don't expect you to tag along the whole way but if you want to accompany me to the station I won't complain."

"If you want to be around someone then I don't mind going with you." Orihime said. "But wouldn't you get into trouble for doing that?"

Rukia let out a sigh, "Yeah, I probably will but I don't want to be around many people right now and I don't want many people to know where I am either. When we get to an isolated place I'll send a message to my Captain to explain my reasoning and request a few hours leave of duty."

Orihime gave her another concerned look but said nothing as they continued on down the street. After awhile they turned down an alley and Rukia used her kidou to summon a hell butterfly and quietly whispered her message before letting it take flight. It vanished from their sight and they then stood in silence awaiting a response all the while Orihime was growing even more concerned. She had known nothing about any problem or relationship Rukia was having but it seemed pretty clear that it wasn't new.

Twenty-five minutes after the message was sent a hell butterfly came into view and Rukia allowed it to land on her forefinger as she received the message. Orihime waited patiently for it as well as she had already decided to accompany Rukia out of town or wherever she would go to get away. Even if there was no conversation between them she wanted to be there for Rukia as she had been for her. She knew any advice she could give wouldn't be very helpful as she had never been in the situation Rukia was in but she would do her best to offer her help.

Rukia spoke quietly once more to the hell butterfly giving it another message before it took flight once more and the two girls met eyes, "I have a few of hours before I have to return to my duty. If you want to accompany me I won't stop you."

Orihime smiled warmly in response knowing that she was being asked along in the undertones of Rukia's words, "If you want company then I'll be your company."

Rukia smiled weakly in response as they left the alley and headed down the street once more but it wasn't long before Orihime spoke up, "Since we're leaving town we should probably change out of our school uniforms first."

"Yeah," Rukia said distantly. "I wouldn't exactly want to go back to Ichigo's to do that though since he's still at home. It would just be awkward to change around him."

"I could lend you something if you want but it might be a bit big on you." Orihime said.

"I guess that could work." Rukia said distantly as she knew that she was running away from Ichigo now by doing this. "I don't know if I'd even be able to face him right now… I mean if he were here right now. With everything going on between us I just need to put some space between us so I can sort out all my emotions."

"Is running away really for the best though?" Orihime asked. "I'm no expert on relationships but isn't a couple supposed to confront their problems and work them out together?"

"I need to sort them out first." Rukia said with a fake smile. "If we tried to work everything out now it would just be a mess and it would just end in a mess."

"I suppose that makes sense." Orihime said as she thought about it for a moment before her attention was on something else entirely. "Oh, I should send Tatsuki an email so she knows what's going on and doesn't worry so much about this."

She pulled out her cell phone and got to it as Rukia just smiled, "It must be nice to have such a good friendship."

"It's the greatest." Orihime said brightly. "Even with everything going on she's still always right there for me when I need her."

"I'm a little envious of you two to be honest." Rukia said distantly earning a confused look. "That's how things used to be in my relationship but now it's the complete opposite of that. I really wish things could go back to that."

"It sounds like you two really need to sit down and talk this out." Orihime said with a frown.

"We will the next time we see each other." Rukia said. "The only problem is what happens after that conversation is over? Will things go back to the way they were before or would it stay the same? If it's possible I'd like it to be even better then before."

"If it stays the same then you should let me meet him." Orihime said with a slight determined look. "I'll set him straight and show him that you are a wonderful person and should be treated like one."

"I'm not sure that would really work out to my favor, Orihime." Rukia said with a slight laugh. "I appreciate the notion all the same though."

Orihime smiled brightly at Rukia. She was grateful that she was able to get a smile and a small laugh out of her. It was a start at least and it showed that she was starting to get somewhere with this problem Rukia was having even if they were only taking baby steps at the moment it wouldn't be long before the steps were more spread out and she really began to open up about this problem and even give her something to work with and not just her hopes for her relationship but possible solutions for it. If she came up with nothing for her then she would go about it negatively and if this guy was really as distant as Rukia said he was then that might just end it for them.

They arrived at Orihime's home and they went up the stairs and down the outdoor hall to the door of her apartment. Rukia was let in and she waited in the living room for Orihime to return with something to change into. It was awhile before she was brought some clothes. Orihime held an apologetic look as she handed them to the smaller girl and said, "This is the smallest clothing I could find for you."

"This will be fine, thank you, Orihime." Rukia said politely as she was led to the bathroom where she could change. She did so as quickly as she could so they could leave sooner and before a hollow appeared. Even with her permission to leave she was told that if a hollow were to appear and she was still in Karakura she would have to take care of it.

Even if a hollow were to appear at the same time as the train out she would have to dispose of it but she would have her gigai board it while it was possessed by a soul candy and she would then have to catch up to the train by air and by following Orihime's reiatsu. She had planned that on the way back when she had the chance to do so in silence. With everything planned out she was reassured of her small 'break' from people but she knew from the moment she thought of taking a small leave from Karakura she was really just trying to avoid Ichigo by leaving town to gather her thoughts. She didn't mind having a bit of company though for an extra opinion but she had realized that Orihime wasn't exactly ideal for her situation but her positive attitude was a must with Rukia's current upset one.

She finished changing and folded her uniform so it wouldn't be wrinkled when she put it back on later or the next day. The clothing she wore was a little loose on her but she was given a belt for the pants so they wouldn't fall down and the shirt was the loosest on her, as she had a smaller bust, but it didn't matter to her so much. When she was finished she left her uniform somewhere where it wasn't in the way before leaving the bathroom. Orihime was in the kitchen packing a small bag with some food and drinks. She glanced over with a smile, "In case we get hungry."

"Good thinking." Rukia said with a bit of a distant smile.

Her appetite had escaped her lately but she didn't want to come out and say that Orihime was wasting her time with packing so much food nor did she want to sound too rude considering she wanted Orihime to come along with her even though she knew that she wouldn't get much advice but just some suggestions on what she should do. Instead Rukia just smiled and waited for Orihime to finish with what she was doing so they could leave as soon as possible without being held up too much.

Orihime finished up quickly and the two headed out shortly after that. They didn't detour at all to the train station and there wasn't a single word between them the whole way. When they arrived they went to check the schedule and found that a train would arrive in only a few minutes making Rukia very grateful that she hadn't stalled for any reason at all as they would have missed it and had to wait another hour for the next train. But that would have only been if they were really content on going north, which there was no particular destination that was chosen and Rukia didn't want to go too far since she would have to be back in a few hours and wanted more time in an open and empty place then on a small train with people on it.

They purchased a couple of tickets and went to where they would board the train not wanting to bother with sitting down at a bench as there were already a few humans around there. With the surrounding people around Orihime was very grateful that they had changed out of their uniforms so they wouldn't be looked down on for skipping class and with the small amount of things in their possession it didn't seem like they were skipping town as well but simply going on an evening trip or going to visit the next town over. It wasn't long before they could hear the train arriving and the others at the station made their way over to board it as well while some awaited someone getting off the train.

As it pulled up to the station Rukia became even more anxious to leave Karakura but she would have liked to have more then just a few hours of time away but anymore then that would have been pushing it too much and she would have been denied and questioned about it and she did not want even her Captain to know of her relationship with Ichigo. She had always been careful about her interactions with him when he was being watched and made sure it wasn't possible when they showed any form of intimacy or even their relationship so no one could ever find out.

Their relationship could be fatal if one of them was injured badly in a fight and that was reason enough for them to be separated from the other. It was because of this that relationships with humans were forbidden even if Ichigo had soul reaper abilities he was still a weakness to her and vice versa. That was why Rukia took every measure possible to keep it a secret and had even explained it to Ichigo as much as she could while staying away from classified information where she had to for the sake of their relationship as well as both their lives. The latter was more of the reasoning behind it but both were important to her and she didn't want to risk anything.

They boarded the train and tried to find the emptiest part to have their privacy as much as possible. In the end they chose to sit at the end of a car that was half full but everyone was spaced out so there wasn't much privacy for them unless they spoke quietly, as unlikely as it was, Rukia did not want to be overheard in any conversation the two would hold incase it led back to Soul Society in any way since it had been implied that the person she was dating was a soul reaper as well, which he was but only a substitute, she knew it could lead back to it.

It was silent between them until the train started its departure, "Do you know where you want to go exactly, Rukia?"

"Anywhere where there are not a lot of humans." Rukia said distantly as she glanced out the window. "I'm partial to where we go but it can't be too far since we still have to be back at a certain time."

"I guess that makes sense." Orihime said.

"To be honest though, if I could I'd take as much time off as I could and just get away for awhile." Rukia said. "Unfortunately a few hours is even pushing it. The best I could probably do is transfer to another town."

"What would that accomplish though?" Orihime asked sadly. "You have friends in Karakura and your problems won't disappear no matter where you go since you're boyfriend is a soul reaper as well."

"That's true, but he'd have a bit of trouble finding me at least." Rukia said. "It would buy me some more time to avoid him though."

"But is avoiding him worth leaving behind all of your friends?" Orihime asked without losing her sadness. "There are already a lot of people worried about you and with this sudden trip of ours Ichigo and the others are going to be worried about both of us as well. Ichigo might even come looking for us thinking something's wrong."

"That's unlikely." Rukia said trying to hide her own sadness on this turn in topic. "Even if he were to worry about it even he's not foolish enough to automatically think something bad happened to us."

"Hmm, maybe you're right but I know he would definitely be really worried about you." Orihime said making Rukia look over at her. "The two of you are really close so an unannounced leave would concern him."

"I'll explain everything to him later on tonight." Rukia said. "I'm sure he'll understand everything after that."

"Well, one thing about Ichigo is that he's really understanding when it comes to his friends." Orihime said brightly.

"Yeah," Rukia said distantly.

She could no longer call herself his friend since they no longer had that sort of bond, they had more then that. The relationship that they had she was very happy with so knowing that it was falling apart was devastating for her. Her attention went back to the window as she recalled what Chizuru had suggested might be happening. Even with all that was happening between her and Ichigo she still didn't want it to be anywhere near that. If she were right then the chances of their relationship ending was very high and that was definitely something Rukia didn't want to happen.

After awhile she brought her gaze back to Orihime, "I'm sorry for dragging you into this so much, Orihime. It was never my intention for anyone to find out about my relationship."

"Why not?" Orihime asked.

"It's just not the smartest thing to announce." Rukia said. "I'm not saying I'm ashamed of it because I'm not, I just don't want the two of us separated for the sake of both our safety. If one of us were put in a lot of danger or really hurt then the other might overact and throw themselves into harms way to save the other and only one of us would really be strong enough to do that effectively. If he were injured and I recklessly went to help him we'd both end up dead so it's better that it remained quiet and it _still_ has to be kept quiet."

"I guess Soul Society wouldn't want to chance it then." Orihime said though she was confused by the matter.

"Yes," Rukia said. "There has already been a situation where a Vice-Captain was killed because a hollow killed and possessed his wife's body. It's because of this that all relationships are carefully observed and also don't happen often. Attachment brings a lot of weakness and that weakness is even greater when the two are involved romantically."

A single tear rolled down her cheek as she relived the night she had mentioned. Orihime noticed it's decent and reached over to wipe the tear away so it wouldn't fall. Rukia glanced over almost shocked at the immediate action but smiled warmly at the caring look on Orihime's face, "Thank you."

"It must be difficult to live a secret life even in Soul Society." Orihime said sadly.

"It is but it's even more difficult to relive the night I had just spoke of." Rukia admitted as she felt a little safe to admit these things to Orihime.

"When the Vice-Captain was killed by the hollow?" Orihime asked.

"It wasn't the hollow that killed him." Rukia said sadly. "He too was possessed by it. I was the one to kill him."

Orihime's eyes widened a little at this new information as she delicately asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's something I just want to forget." Rukia said as more tears formed in her eyes but didn't fall as she took her mind off of it and said no more on the matter. "We should be coming to a stop soon."

"Huh, oh, yeah." Orihime said at a temporary loss. "Are we going to get off or keep going?"

"It depends on the location." Rukia said.

They fell into silence once more as they waited for the next stop. When the train entered a town it was automatically and voicelessly decided that they wouldn't get off at this stop. Orihime knew that Rukia wouldn't want to get off at a stop that would have a lot of people around so any town was a definite no. They would ride the train until they got to a nice spot or half their time was up then they would get off and take the next one back unless they lost track of time then they might travel through Soul Society to return to Karakura but that would be unlikely since Rukia seemed keen on avoiding her boyfriend no matter what happened or how much trouble she would get into.


	3. Chapter 3

_3 A long talk_

They rode the train until the second stop where they decided to get off since it seemed to be mostly farm lands though that limited where they could go since the area was mostly owned by farmers and they wouldn't like people wandering around their fields. They walked along the side of the tracks and a field but stayed out of it. In the distance was a pretty big hill that they had passed on the train and what had peeked Rukia interest as that would be a nice spot to sit around and sort out her thoughts.

There was still little to no conversation between them and each chat was started by Orihime only to be ended shortly after it started by Rukia. After that single tear had fallen she seemed partial to any conversation no matter the topic as the night she wanted to forget was clearly on her mind and now on top of her other problems she was trying to sort out. Orihime felt horrible for bringing it up and was trying to keep it off Rukia's mind but to no avail as it continued to torment her further.

As they reached the hill Rukia stopped and looked over at Orihime, who's attention was already on her, so she could say, "I shouldn't have asked you to come with me but I'm grateful all the same."

Orihime smiled warmly at her, "Rukia, you're my friend and you need someone so even if you didn't want me to come along I still would have been here for you even if you completely ignored me. If all I can offer you is silent company then that's what I'll give you but if I can do more for you then I will."

"That really means a lot, Orihime." Rukia said kindly with a smile. "Thank you for all this."

They started up the hill with a bit of conversation though it was away from unhappy topics, "Are you hungry at all, Rukia? I brought enough food for a couple of meals since I didn't know if you'd be hungry or how long we'd be here."

"I'm fine." Rukia replied. "To be honest my appetite has escaped me recently. I know it's not healthy but a lot has been on my mind."

"If that's the case then you have to eat." Orihime said with a nod. "After that we'll start sorting out everything that's bothering you even if it has nothing to do with your relationship."

The last part was hinting towards that night and Rukia knew it just as well as Orihime did. For Orihime seeing a friend cry was something that she hated to see so if she could she would prevent it from happening even if it caused a bit of pain for one of them. If talking it out made it better in the long run then she was partially willing to have a painful conversation but it would never be a forced one. Right now a conversation about what Rukia had referenced was very unlikely to happen but the invitation had been given already so it was a welcome conversation.

"I don't know if I'm all that willing to have that conversation at this time." Rukia said. "I have enough to deal with right now so maybe another time."

"I'm here for you whenever you need to talk about anything." Orihime replied with a kind smile.

"I'm very grateful to you." Rukia said warmly as they neared the top.

They stopped once more as Rukia glanced back at the surrounding countryside, "That's some view."

"Yeah," Orihime said. "I wish there was a place like this in Karakura even though the view wouldn't be the same."

"If it were on the edge of town it would be." Rukia said. "You would just have to go to the other side and look out over the land there."

"I guess that would work." Orihime said with a laugh before hurrying up the hill to get to the top.

Rukia followed after her a little curious to her actions only to find her looking over the other side with a bit of a pout. She approached Orihime with a bit of concern, "Orihime?"

She looked over and said, "I was hoping we could see Karakura from here."

Rukia chuckled at the thought before saying, "If we could then we would be able to walk back. But then I'm not sure if we would have gone far enough away from Karakura."

Orihime's pout turned to concern as she placed a hand on the other girl's shoulder, "Why are you so desperate to get away from Karakura? It's like you're avoiding someone that's there not Soul Society."

"It's just people in general, Orihime." Rukia assured. "I don't want to be around many happy people especially happy couples and for the record, he knows that I'm assigned there."

"I suppose that makes sense." Orihime agreed. "But I'm considered a very happy person too, you know."

"I'm well aware of that, Orihime." Rukia chuckled. "But your cheerful attitude never fails to cheer me up so out of everyone I know you're the person that I would want to be around at a time like this."

Orihime smiled brightly at this compliment and pulled Rukia into a hug. Rukia was completely taken aback by this action then even more so as nothing happened. There was no thought of confusion and no twinge of pain telling her that something was wrong. The embrace didn't last long and soon they were separated from one another. Orihime pulled a small blanket out from her bag and spread it out for them to sit on while Rukia stood stunned at the difference in the embrace. The feel of that was completely different from any embrace she had felt from Ichigo. There was no pain when Orihime had held her.

After the blanket was laid out Orihime went through her bag once more and pulled out some snacks for them since she wanted Rukia to eat something but when she finished she found that the other girl hadn't even moved an inch and her face held an almost grave expression. She immediately rose to her feet to tend to her friend but as she did so Rukia glanced over at her and took a step back as if frightened by the action. Orihime gave her a look of pure concern as Rukia seemed to snap out of it a bit. She smiled faintly, "Everything's fine, don't worry. I was just little startled that's all."

"Did I do something wrong?" Orihime asked nervously.

"Not at all, Orihime." Rukia said quickly. "I just wasn't expecting the hug, that's all. It was nothing more then that."

Orihime continued to give her a nervous look until she looked away completely ashamed of herself. Rukia quickly got into reaching distance and placed her hands on the girls shoulders with a comforting look as she said, "I was just a bit startled and nothing more then that. I just wasn't expecting it that's all."

"Are you sure that's all it was?" Orihime asked clearly still upset at Rukia's reaction.

"I'm positive." Rukia said as she pulled Orihime into an embrace. "I'm not freaked out by these interactions it was just a bit sudden so I wasn't expecting it."

Orihime smiled as she wrapped her hands around Rukia's back. Once more there was nothing wrong with this embrace and it terrified Rukia as she felt that this embrace should feel wrong not Ichigo's. But maybe the only reason this didn't feel wrong was because they were both girl's and there could never be anything between them other then a friendship that shouldn't even exist between a human and a soul reaper. Rukia let out a sigh as tears formed in her eyes while her thoughts were clouded on the pain she felt in Ichigo's embrace that was absent in Orihime's.

Not long after her tears started Orihime's embrace became tighter as if she had realized their decent. It seemed to be the case as Orihime rubbed her back soothingly with one hand while the other refused to let her go. Rukia's tears intensified at all the attention yet there was still no pain in her chest to tell her something was wrong with this. Questions circled her mind frantically along the lines of; is this only happening because I never held any form of love towards her, and why is her embrace so warm and Ichigo's so cold, and her least favorite, does this mean I don't love Ichigo as I did when we first became lovers?

The more persistent these questions became the more intense her tears were and there was likely already a large wet mark on Orihime's shirt from all the tears alone. As the minutes went by Orihime's grip tightened and she began to voice her deep concern by making a small shushing sound and repeating the phrase 'everything will be alright'. When that proved useless she switched tactics and began shifting her weight from one foot to the other to create a rocking affect to try and calm Rukia's tears as much as possible but even that seemed useless as the tears continued.

At a last attempt at quieting the tears Orihime placed a kiss on Rukia's head and delicately said, "I'm here for you so you don't have to worry so much."

To her surprise Rukia's sob stopped but then she tried to back away only to be denied by Orihime's strong embrace. Even more surprising Rukia gave up her struggle quickly without anything being said at all. The two remained still for a moment before Rukia said, "Why is it that when you hold me I don't feel any pain in my chest but when he holds me that's all I feel?"

Orihime's embrace tightened for a moment as she thought the pain Rukia felt called for this but then she released her realizing that with the questions she had asked meant that there should be no interactions like that between them until that part gets figured out at least. She took Rukia's hands as they fell away from her and led her over to the blanket before sitting her down. Her cheeks were covered in tears so Orihime reaching into her bag once more and pulled out a handkerchief for her. It was accepted gratefully as Rukia wiped away her tears.

When they were gone Orihime decided it was safe to respond to Rukia's question even though she didn't have a definite answer, "Maybe it's because we're only friends and you know that I'm here to support you and since you know that this doesn't hurt you."

Rukia just shook her head, "That doesn't explain why it hurts when he holds me."

"Well, maybe Chizuru was right and you don't really love him." Orihime said. "But it could also be all the secrets surrounding your relationship and a part of you doesn't like that so it hurts to only do those things in secret."

Rukia looked at her as that last thought had never even occurred to her before. Their eyes were on each to her for only a moment before Rukia looked out over the fields once more but now deep in thought as she tried to trace the feeling to try and link it to what Orihime had suggested. They were silent for awhile as Rukia thought but as she let out a long sigh Orihime knew that her suggestion wasn't right in the end so she too let out a small sigh but it wasn't loud enough for it to be heard.

Once more she thought up other possibilities for their problems as Rukia sat quietly doing the same thing. Eventually she looked over at Rukia and asked, "Why not just ask him why he's being so distant?"

"I'd like to have a bit of an idea before hand so I can plan how to go about it instead of sitting their awkwardly while trying to come up with solutions." Rukia said. "With the way things are with us right now having a plan would show how much I want things to work out so going in empty handed doesn't look to good and might be the last thing he needs to end it."

"Do you really think he'll end it with you?" Orihime asked with clear worry.

"The way things are going and with what Chizuru said it's better to start preparing for it." Rukia said sadly. "I don't want to be crushed by him if it does come to that."

"Well, if it does then he clearly doesn't know how much of a mistake he's making." Orihime said confidently. "I'll be the first to give him a piece of my mind for making you cry like this."

"That might be a bit much, Orihime." Rukia said.

"If he hurts you he deserves to get an earful." Orihime confirmed.

Rukia smiled awkwardly before letting it fade away as she looked over the fields once more. The sun was still high in the sky and they still had a long time before she would have to return to her duty. Even at this time of day she could tell that where they sat would have the perfect view of the sunset and for the sunrise all they would have to do was sit on the other side of the hill. If she had a chance she would like to come here again but with her lover and with better circumstances and higher moods. Out of the two girls sitting there Orihime was the only one able to smile happily.

They sat quietly as Rukia tried to clear her mind of all her uncertainties to just enjoy the moment of peace and quiet. As she sat there a smile slowly began to form on her face. Its presence wasn't noticed right away but after a few minutes Orihime did notice it was there and she too began to smile even though she was clueless to what Rukia was smiling about. She was just glad that Rukia had found a smile here that didn't need to be brought out by words or interactions. This was a natural and warm smile that Orihime liked to see. If possible she would like to see it more often.

After awhile Rukia commented on the scenery, "If the sun were setting right now this would be the perfect spot for a date. Maybe I could come here with him sometime and enjoy the scenery. After the sunset though…"

She trailed off not wanting to put Orihime in an awkward spot by talking about her intimacy with Ichigo but she didn't even seem to be overly concerned with the way she had stopped talking. Instead Orihime was giving her a saddened look as she asked, "He really means a lot to you doesn't he?"

"He does but lately I'm not sure how much I mean to him." Rukia replied sadly. "Every time he looks at me there's just distance and sadness in his eyes. That might be why intimacy hurts so much with him like a part of me knows it's not what he wants anymore."

"It sounds like he doesn't know how great you really are." Orihime said as she placed a hand on Rukia's shoulder.

The two shared a smile at the comfort before Rukia said, "I'm sure he knows. It's just something else that's bothering him."

"Then what else could it be?" Orihime asked as she went back into thought in hopes of coming up with a probable suggestion. After awhile she found another suggestion, "What if he's not actually interested in girls?"

Rukia snapped her attention to Orihime as her face paled a little, "There's no way that is even close to it. He likes the intimacy between us a bit too much to not be interested in women."

"Then what if he was only interested in older women?" Orihime asked getting even further then any possible reason for him to have."

"I think I would fit into the category of 'older women'." Rukia said a little bitterly. "I'm not exactly young."

"Maybe he likes younger women then." Orihime concluded.

"That's unlikely." Rukia denied coolly despite how likely it actually was. Ichigo was a human of 15 years while Rukia was dead and had been for much longer then that. If age was a factor then there was nothing she could really do about it but it had never bothered him before and he was the one to ask her out as well and that knowledge was already known to him so if it really did bother him he never would have asked her out at all. It was definitely something else that she couldn't think of.

"Well if age has nothing to do with it what else stands between you?" Orihime asked. "That's most likely going to be it."

Rukia fell silent to think about it properly. She went over all the differences between them, age, life and death, worlds, strength, duties. There were so many things that made them different from the other that it could be any one of them and even when it was narrowed down she could still be wrong about it as she may have overlooked the smallest of factors that ruled out what it might actually be. A sigh escaped her as she said, "There's too many to accurately list."

"Maybe writing it all down might help." Orihime suggested.

"That's possible but if he were to come across it…" Rukia trailed off. "I don't even want to think of that possibility."

Orihime watched her sadly before placing her hand on the other girl's shoulder once more in comfort. Her actions got her a grateful smile but no more then that was given as Rukia once more looked away. Orihime eventually let her hand fall away and she brought her attention to some of the food she had brought. Since it was a last minute decision to leave she hadn't had any time to make anything so she only brought small packaged snacks. She picked up a sweet bun and opened the package with a slight sigh, "I didn't have time to make anything for this so there's nothing here homemade. Help yourself to anything I brought though."

Rukia glanced over at her once more and said, "This is fine, I'm not really hungry anyways."

"When was the last time you ate?" Orihime asked recalling that she hadn't even had a lunch that day.

"I think it was last night." Rukia said with a slight shrug. "I'm not exactly able to just go get food whenever I want to."

"You should eat something then." Orihime said with an almost stern look.

Rukia looked at the food that was already out with a bit of a distant look before she took a bun but was hesitant in opening the package and eating. She really wasn't hungry but she didn't feel the urge to upset Orihime any further then she already was with everything. Orihime was the type of person that would gladly help out a friend in need and she knew that asking her to stay in Karakura would have been a waste of time since she would have persisted in following anyways. However, Rukia's earlier compliment was true and she had wanted the girl to accompany her on this small trip.

She hesitantly ate the food while hoping that this one bun would be enough for Orihime and she wouldn't be forced to eat anything more then this. When she finished the bun she put the garbage aside while Orihime continued to eat some more of the snacks. They sat in silence for awhile longer as they just enjoyed the view. As time went by however Rukia began to wonder what it would be like to sit here with Ichigo instead of Orihime. It was unlikely that they would have just sat around watching the scenery for very long before bringing their attention to the other.

"You don't want to eat anything else, Rukia?" Orihime asked bringing the other girls attention away from Ichigo.

"No I'm alright." Rukia said. "My mind's still a bit clouded at the moment so I'm not in the mood to eat."

"You should still try to eat." Orihime said.

"I'm content with just the bun." Rukia assured.

She was given another concerned look but no more then that as Orihime packed up the rest of the untouched food so they could have it for later. Rukia watched her with a bit of a smile as she found how dedicated the girl was to other's needs and problems. Orihime was very attentive to those she cared for and it was unlikely that she would ever ignore another's problems if they were concerning. Even when Rukia had first entered a gigai and the two first exchanged words Orihime was well attentive towards her though she wasn't as open about it as she was now but now the two were close friends and it was very easy for her to notice.

Rukia smiled warmly at the girl as their eyes met. The smile was returned without hesitation and Rukia felt happy about the lack of hesitation in the girl. Spending time with her was different then spending time with Ichigo as there was less attention with him. Lately when she spent time with Ichigo there wasn't really much interactions between them other then necessary conversations and intimacy but with Orihime they were just spending time with one another and there was no need to be intimate and there were no necessary conversations as they spoke what was on their mind, though it did have a main focus, there was more comfort in this situation then any other with Ichigo.

"I think I need to spend more time with friends." Rukia said. "I can't have this sort of thing with him anymore."

"Why can't you?" Orihime asked.

"Because all we have now that isn't awkward is intimacy but even that doesn't feel right for me anymore." Rukia said sadly. "Maybe we really should just end things."

"But I thought you really loved this guy." Orihime said confused.

"I do but it's just not working out between us anymore." Rukia said.

Orihime watched her sadly before standing up and walking over to her and sat behind her to hold her comfortably. Rukia held Orihime's arms once more feeling the absence of a sharp twinge to tell her that this was wrong. This felt nice for her as she sank into the embrace a little. She let out a nice sigh as she said, "This really would be the perfect spot for a date. It's a shame I'll never be able to come back here for a date."

"I'm sure you'll get that chance." Orihime said kindly as her grip tightened a little around her. "This guy would be a fool if he were to leave you."

Rukia's grip tightened on Orihime's arms a little in response but said nothing at all. A small sob formed in her throat but the embrace denied it to come out as it comforted her. This embrace was a little different then the ones preceding it as it felt warmer. It even felt warmer then any embrace she had ever had before even with Ichigo and this was concerning for her. Rukia felt welcome in this embrace and that was something she had never known before. She felt like she could stay in this embrace for a long time and not have a care about anything in the world. If she could feel this in an embrace with her lover then she wouldn't need anything more then that.

She let out a warm sigh but failed to do anything to hide it from Orihime prompting her to question, "Is everything alright, Rukia?"

"Yes, I was just thinking that's all." Rukia said.

"It sounded pleasant." Orihime said with a smile.

Rukia thought about it for a moment before a warm smile formed on her face, "I suppose it was rather pleasant."

"That's a relief." Orihime said happily. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"It's only because I'm not thinking about the things that are concerning right now." Rukia said. "I just want to take a break from it all."

There was a bit of a silence before Orihime hesitantly asked, "And not go back?"

Rukia let out a sad sigh and said, "Possibly, I feel better with this situation then any I have with him."

"It sounds like you're starting to move on without even trying to work things out." Orihime said sadly.

Rukia lowered her head a little, "I suppose I am."

Orihime released her and said, "I think you should have a talk with him about what's happening in your relationship before you move on. It's pretty obvious that you really love him even now."

"That would be for the best but what could I even say to him?" Rukia asked sadly.

"Tell him how much he means to you and that you don't want to lose him." Orihime replied. "Then try to work things out for the best. Don't just give up and try to run away. You'll live with that regret for the rest of your life."

"I know I will but it doesn't exactly look good between us so I don't want to get my hopes up." Rukia said.

"But what if things do work out for you and things get better between you two but you've already moved on." Orihime said sadly. "It would really hurt him if he puts a lot of effort into your relationship just to find out that you don't love him anymore."

"I know it would." Rukia said sadly. "That's the last thing that I want but at the same time I want the pain to go away and I only have that with him."

Orihime let out a small sigh as she got up and went back to where she sat before to think about the situation once more. Rukia was saddened that she had moved away but at the same time was grateful since she found it almost impossible to think about anything properly when she was held by Orihime. It was as if nothing else mattered anymore. The feeling was completely unknown to her almost to the point where it surpassed alien. She tried to place it or even compare it to something she did know but to no avail as it remained unknown to her in almost every way. All she knew was that it wasn't painful.

"Then maybe you should think about what matters more." Orihime said. "Could you continue to endure everything for the sake of not hurting him or is it too much for your love for him to take? This is something you should really think about."

They fell into a very long silence as Rukia did just as Orihime had said and contemplated how strong her love was and how much pain she could endure for Ichigo's sake. Orihime's attention was on and off her friend as to give her the privacy of making this decision but to make sure she was alright on her own. There was no conversation on any topic even after half an hour had passed and Orihime tried to make Rukia eat once more. Her silent offer had been waved off without much acknowledgement so further attempts were halted in the knowledge that it wasn't even registering to Rukia completely.


	4. Chapter 4

_4 A bad conversation_

A majority of Rukia's leave was spent in silence as she had been deep in thought most of the time and when she wasn't Orihime offered minor small talk or suggestions as to what might help her with her relationship problem. The only thing she had succeeded in however was getting Rukia to eat more which helped put her mind at ease at least a little bit. On the train ride back they had conversed in much conversation on a variety of topics, each far from what was going on around them.

The two girls had gone their separate ways after Rukia had retrieved her uniform for the next day and she now traveled back to Ichigo's house for a long and painful conversation. It was still unknown to her how she would go about things but had concluded that both she and Ichigo should come up with solutions together. It wasn't a concrete plan but it would be fine if she showed how much effort she was really willing to put in for the sake of their relationship.

As she got to the street Ichigo lived on her soul pager once more rang. She was a little aggravated by it as she just wanted to sort everything out sooner then later so they could begin working things out quicker. Now it had to be delayed for a little bit unless she met up with him at the location of the hollow. With that small hope she swallowed her soul candy and took off for the hollow while her gigai followed lazily behind her at a much slower pace.

She scanned the town for any familiar reiatsu and found that Ichigo was also out and after it as well. That would make things easier as they would have more privacy outdoors then in his room. Her pace was quick even though she wanted to take her time with this and put off their conversation as much as she could. Even now she was still trying to run away from him but she knew she couldn't do that forever and would have to face him eventually and Orihime had been right about how she should have this talk with him and it was better done as soon as possible.

When she got to the hollow she found Ichigo was already slaying it with ease. Her pace slowed with less urgency but she continued over to him as he glanced over at her. When she got closer she called out to him, "Ichigo, how are you feeling now?"

"I'm feeling a lot better now." He replied.

"That's good to hear." Rukia said with a warm smile. "Now I don't have to worry as much."

He let out a sigh as he looked at her with pained eyes once more, "Where did you disappear to earlier?"

"I just had a few things to take care of, don't worry about it." Rukia said reassuringly. "We do need to talk about a few things though."

"Alright," He said and motioned to a nearby building. "Let's go over there then."

He didn't wait for a response before heading over but Rukia was right behind him regardless. They landed on it and went to the center by the radio antenna in a small silence to lean on it for a bit of comfort. It was a moment before Rukia began, "Has anything been bothering you lately?"

"Not really why?" Ichigo responded.

"You've been really distant towards me lately." Rukia stated. "I'm really getting concerned about it."

"It's not necessary." Ichigo said. "It's not like it's your fault."

"That doesn't matter." Rukia said. "The way things are between us makes this my business also so don't keep things like this from me."

Ichigo looked over at her and asked, "Why does it matter anyways?"

"Are you serious?" Rukia asked astounded by his arrogance. "Ichigo, being in a relationship means that your problems are also mine and the same the other way around. If there's something going on let me know so I can do what I can try and help you sort things out."

"Yeah, I know." Ichigo sighed. "It's just not something I think we should really talk about that's all."

"What makes you say that?" Rukia asked a little angrily.

"Because you're happy," Ichigo replied. "And I don't want to take that away from you."

Rukia looked at him astounded, "What do you mean, Ichigo? Tell me what's going on."

He let out another, but longer, sigh as he looked her in the eye, "I'm not happy, Rukia."

Her chest tightened a little as she began to fear the worst, "Ichigo, if there's anything I can do for you just let me know and I'll do it. If it will make you happy then just tell me. I want you to be happy more then anything else."

"You shouldn't have to do that." He said. "That isn't your responsibility."

"Ichigo, if we're in a relationship then it is my responsibility to make sure you're happy." Rukia stressed. "If I can't make you happy then what can?"

He let out another sigh and avoided her eyes making Rukia's heart sink as she too looked away, "Nothing?"

"I just don't know what to do anymore, Rukia." Ichigo said. "I've tried to be happy with you but I just can't. In the end I just don't think I'm ready for this sort of stuff yet."

"I see." Rukia said sadly. "Is that really what you want?"

"I just want you to be happy." Ichigo said.

"If you're happy then I'm happy even if we aren't together anymore." Rukia said sadly as she looked over at him once more.

He met her eyes with a bit of pain and asked, "So what happens now?"

"That's up to you." Rukia said sadly. "If being with me doesn't make you happy then we should go our separate ways but if you want to keep trying then we can do that."

"I wouldn't want to go separate ways." Ichigo said.

"Then we can try going back to being just friends." Rukia said. "It would just take awhile before there's no more awkwardness and I wouldn't be staying in your closet for awhile either. Once everything's back to normal between us then things will be alright."

"Then I guess we do that." Ichigo said as he walked away from the radio antenna a bit before looking back. "So where are you going to go then?"

"I'll figure something out." Rukia said. "I'll get my stuff tomorrow morning after you leave to avoid any awkwardness."

The two were silent but kept eye contact with the other despite how painful it was for them. After awhile though it became too much and Ichigo looked off in the direction of his house and said, "I should get going. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Yeah," Rukia said distantly as he took off. She slid down to the ground as tears rolled down her cheeks freely. Even if she had prepared for it the action still hurt her and left her heartbroken. She wasn't hesitant in letting all her tears out on that roof. It took her a long time to collect herself enough to leave and try to find another place to stay.

Of all the places she could have considered there was one place that came to mind almost immediately. This thought startled her as it was so sudden and how her feet automatically began to bring her in the appropriate direction even before the decision came to mind as soon as she reentered her gigai. As strange as it was however she continued on almost curious as to why her feet were leading her to that very place. She would only find out when she got there and not a moment sooner but she needed to know why.

When she reached her destination she hesitantly knocked on the door. There was a moment of silence before it was opened and she was given an automatic concerned look from Tatsuki, who immediately moved aside to let her in, "Is everything alright, Rukia?"

"It could be better." Rukia admitted with a hint of sorrow.

Nothing else was said as she was led into the living room while Orihime came in from another room. As soon as she saw Rukia there her concern came back in full, "What happened? I thought you were going to go talk to him."

"We did talk." Rukia said with a bit of a forced smile. "Then we broke up."

She got the immediate attention of the other girls as Orihime hurried over while Tatsuki placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt in comfort. When it didn't work she was brought to the couch and sat down as the other two sat by her side, each with a hand on her shoulder. "I'm alright, it was mutual between us. It wasn't as bad as it could have been."

"Do you need anything?" Orihime asked delicately.

Rukia was very hesitant in her answer, "I might need a place to stay for awhile but I won't trouble you with that."

"Why would you need a place to stay?" Tatsuki asked. "It's not like you were living with him."

"I may have lied when I said I was in a long distance relationship." Rukia said nervously. "And also when I said you guys don't know him."

"So that's why you kept it a secret." Orihime said slowly as her hand fell away from Rukia's shoulder. "You could have at least told me I knew him."

"I don't get it, who were you dating?" Tatsuki asked in complete confusion.

"I'm not sure I should really say." Rukia said. "Even if we aren't together anymore it has to stay a complete secret just as it had before today."

"That's perfectly fine." Orihime said and Tatsuki nodded in agreement. "You can also stay here as long as you need to."

"I couldn't impose on you like that, Orihime." Rukia said immediately. "I can have other arrangements made by the end of the night."

"But we're the only ones that know about what happened so we can help you through it." Orihime said.

"You won't win with her on this one." Tatsuki said with a slight laugh. "If Orihime can help you then she will."

Rukia let out a sigh as she leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. She knew as soon as it was offered that she wouldn't be able to get out of it but even still she didn't really want to stay here no matter the reason she came here before anywhere else was. Perhaps it was simply because Orihime knew what was going on in her life that she wanted to be here and no other reason then that. If that were the only reason then it certainly explained a lot. One thing she still couldn't quite put her finger on was why she felt good around Orihime. Unless that was simply her happy and good nature that warmed her spirits when she felt down about things.

When she opened her eyes she glanced at Orihime and found her determination on the matter but still couldn't give in just yet, "It's still a no, I'll work something else out."

"Give in before it drags on." Tatsuki said with a smirk. "You can't win on this one so just give up."

"I can't impose like that." Rukia said.

"You did with him." Orihime said.

"That was different." Rukia said. "Even before we were in a relationship I had good reason to be there."

"Which was?" Tatsuki asked in mild amusement.

"That doesn't concern you." Rukia said sternly. "Just drop it, I don't want to talk about him right now."

The other two girls fell silent and exchanged a worried glance before bringing their attention right back to Rukia as she hunched over a little with a worsened mood. Orihime began to rub her back to try and calm her down but to no avail as tears began to roll down her cheeks. They were left unattended as they continued to fall in silence. No one made a sound at all and even Rukia seemed pretty calm. If no one saw the tears it would seem as though they weren't even there at all and she wasn't even upset.

Orihime continued to rub her back even if it did nothing it at least showed that she cared but Tatsuki continued to sit there at a complete loss of what she should even do right now. It was a long time before the tears had stopped completely. When they had Rukia tried to smile warmly for them but any smile she had was frail and lifeless. It wasn't long before she abandoned the futile notion of a smile as it would never form properly on her face. She doubted it ever would again, Ichigo meant too much to her.

"Do you need anything right now?" Tatsuki asked delicately.

Rukia shook her head faintly in response but did no more then that as her mind began to wonder on what would even happen now. She still wanted to be around Ichigo but right now it would just be painful for her so she would have to continue avoiding him a little longer but then what would she do about her orders? Rukia couldn't leave him alone for too long without raising suspicion about the two of them. That was something she couldn't afford right now or ever. Once suspicion arises it never truly goes away as a piece of trust is gone.

She wiped away any tears that were still on her face and found just how wet her face was and how sensitive her eyes were from crying so much that day. A sigh escaped her as she glanced at the humans that carried so much concern for her during her hurt mood. She was grateful for their attention even though she only wanted to be alone it was nice to know that someone cared for her but once more these were friends that she should not have. It was only because of her own weakness that she was sitting there in a gigai and so torn up about a relationship that never should have even been possible yet it had happened.

"I should get going." Rukia said and rose to her feet only to be pulled back down by the other two.

"You can stay here as long as you need to." Orihime said once more.

"You can't win with this." Tatsuki said with a slight smirk. "Just give up before it goes on for hours."

"You two can't force me to stay here." Rukia said with a small amount of determination.

She got a testing look from Tatsuki as if trying to provoke her. Before she could do anything she was pulled into Orihime's tight embrace. Rukia was denied the room to try and free herself from the hold as Tatsuki's expression became even more amused, "You're now stuck here."

Rukia continued to struggle against the embrace despite how much she wanted to just relax in its painless warmth and allow all her sorrow to be washed away by Orihime's kindness. After awhile she did give in and try to relax without it being to obvious so she wouldn't get any odd looks when she tried to leave later on in the night. To keep her struggle known to them she asked, "Why are you going so much out of your way to keep me here?"

Orihime's embrace tightened a little as she gently said, "Because you're my friend and I want to do what I can for you when your upset and even when your not."

"I don't like seeing anyone upset." Tatsuki said. "You shouldn't have to go through so much on your own if there are people here willing to help you. Why can't you see that we're just trying to help?"

"I'm not blind, Tatsuki." Rukia said. "I just prefer to work things out for myself."

"Then why did you come here?" Tatsuki asked with a sly smile. "You knew you would be cared for here and you just can't admit that you want that."

Rukia looked away while trying to hold an angered look to fool her though she had wanted to be comforted by Orihime a little before she asked Urahara for a place to stay for a few days. She didn't want anyone else seeing her in tears but Orihime made her feel safe so she found it was okay to cry around her so her tears came out without a fight but she couldn't be anymore vulnerable then that as Tatsuki didn't carry that safe feeling.

The feeling she felt from Orihime may have just been from her spiritual powers since they were meant for healing injuries and she had felt her powers many times before making her feel a little at home near her now. That was the only reasoning she had for the feeling and she didn't want to put anymore thought into it then she already had. If she thought anymore on it then it would just further the complication of her situation with Ichigo and she wouldn't be putting as much concentration into it as she should be doing.

As Rukia began to relax in Orihime's embrace even more she began to feel how tired she was becoming and how much she wanted to just close her eyes and go to sleep. It wasn't even dark outside and she was ready to fall asleep. She once more tried to get out of Orihime's embrace and succeeded at first since the sudden action caught her by surprise but it wasn't long before Rukia was being held tightly once more. Rukia let out a slight sigh and said, "I need to sit up."

Orihime was hesitant in releasing her as Rukia continued to try and pull away from her. When she was up properly she rubbed her hands on her face to try and chase away her tire. The other two were clearly still worried about her as their hands were on her shoulders once more. She just shook her head and said, "I'm just tired, there's no need for your concern."

Tatsuki glanced over at Orihime before they helped Rukia to her feet and brought her out of the room and into Orihime's bedroom where they sat her down. Orihime left the room as Tatsuki sat beside her and rubbed her back. There was no form of warmth in her actions for Rukia but it was helpful all the same but not as much as anything Orihime did to help her. After a short moment she spoke, "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"No thanks." Rukia replied. "It's a bit soon for that."

"Whenever you need to talk about anything just let me know." Tatsuki said. "But I'm not the only one here for you when you're upset."

"I know." Rukia said with a bit of a smile. "Thank you for this."

Tatsuki smiled warmly as Orihime returned with a futon and a blanket. She laid it out on the floor for Rukia to sleep on. A sigh escaped her at all the attention she was getting. It was abnormal for her to be so tended to even with her upset mood. Tatsuki stood with a bit of a stretch and said, "I'll be in the living room."

"Alright," Orihime said with a warm smile. When the two were alone in the room Orihime sat next to Rukia and placed her hand on her shoulder with a warm smile, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright." Rukia said with a weak smile. "I just need to rest for a bit."

"If you need anything just let me know and I'll do what I can for you." Orihime said with a smile.

"You don't have to keep telling me that." Rukia said. "I already know you will, you're very kind."

Orihime smiled warmly, "Try to get some rest. When you wake up I'll make you something to eat and if you're ready to talk about it then I'll listen."

"You're doing too much, Orihime." Rukia said. "You shouldn't have to go out of your way so much for me."

"But I want to." She said happily. "You mean a lot to me and I don't want to see you upset about anything."

Rukia gave her a bit of weary look and said, "You're too kind."

Orihime smiled brightly, "Get some rest. I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

"Alright," Rukia said.

They shared a smile before Orihime rose and left the bedroom. Rukia let out another sigh and looked at the futon on the floor for her. She was no longer tired as it had faded shortly after she left Orihime's embrace. Now her mind was going over what had happened between her and Ichigo once more and all the pain she was in as it almost intensified. A part of her wanted to go back into the living room since she found it to be easier to forget the intensity of the pain of her breakup with Ichigo.

Regardless of how unlikely it would be for her to find sleep she went to the futon and laid down on it. She stared up at the ceiling as she tried to distract herself from Ichigo to no avail. As much as she wanted to just forget about it the scene was still playing repetitively in her head and kept her awake and constantly thinking about it. What had happened was exactly what she feared would if she ever brought up the distance between them which was why she hadn't spoken of it even long after she first noticed it.

After lying there for half an hour with her eyes closed she managed to find some sleep but her dreams were relieving for her as Ichigo was absent in them and she instead was going about her duties as she had before she had met him. Every human she encountered on her duty wasn't recognizable even in the slightest and that saddened her as she had grown fond having human friends. As it became too much for her to handle she recognized one and it brought a warm smile to her face as she went to greet the human girl only to be ignored. She persisted in trying to get the girl's attention only to realize that without Ichigo's interference with her duties none of the humans that she knew could see her with the exception of two.

Her eyes opened and she sat up slowly as she felt the pain of her dream. Even now she was grateful for Ichigo's interference as it allowed her to meet some extraordinary humans and even become their friend. It didn't matter what she went through because of Ichigo's interference she was grateful to have those human friends. Without them she would still be living for her duty as a soul reaper and no more then that and she never would have had those few months to live a human life. It was a life of lies but she enjoyed it all the same.

She rose from the futon no longer wanting to sleep as even that seemed to bring her pain. As she walked for the bedroom door she tried to wipe the sleep out of her eyes only to find tears. The dream had bothered her so much she had cried in her sleep. She stood by the door not wanting to leave and risk having the two humans jump to the conclusion that she was crying over Ichigo and bring that up once more. To have the pain of that along with the pain of thinking about losing all her human friends was too much for her to bear so she removed any evidence of her tears on her face before leaving the room.

When Rukia entered the living room she was surprised to find only Orihime sitting there and Tatsuki was nowhere to be seen. She glanced around expecting to see her elsewhere in the apartment but found it empty so she continued to the couch where Orihime sat watching tv. "Tatsuki left?"

Orihime jumped as the sudden voice startled her. She looked over at Rukia and found how defeated she looked now. It was even worse then when she had arrived with the news of the breakup. Orihime immediately wanted to ask her if everything was alright but decided to remain silent on her concern for the time being to let Rukia think about other things so instead she only said, "Yeah, she had to go help her mom with something so she went home."

"I see." Rukia said as she went to join the girl on the couch. "How long was I asleep for?"

"It was just a couple of hours." Orihime said with a smile. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm fine right now." Rukia said. "I just need to find something to occupy myself."

"What do you want to do then?" Orihime asked happily. "We can do whatever you want to."

"I don't care what we do as long as it takes my mind off of things for awhile." Rukia said sadly. "Anything you want to do is fine with me."

"Even if I make you eat?" Orihime asked.

Rukia chuckled a little and replied, "I suppose."

Orihime didn't waste any time in going to the kitchen to make something for her. Rukia got up and followed her in the kitchen so she wouldn't be sitting there alone with her sad thoughts. She got to the kitchen and found Orihime already going through her cupboards to find something to make. Once more a smile formed on her face at Orihime's attentiveness towards her. Rukia went to the table and sat down on a chair so she was facing Orihime. As she watched the girl she couldn't help but think how much she enjoyed the life she lived now even with all the troubles it held for her.

As Orihime went about making food Rukia carefully eyed the ingredients she planned on using with vast skepticism on how it would turn out. Eventually she recalled her strange taste in foods and found she had to stop her from cooking something too outrageous, "Orihime, what exactly do you plan on making?"

She looked over with a smile and said, "I'm making rice."

"With all that?" Rukia asked shocked at the amount of food that was on the counter. With everything there she never would have guessed that Orihime was making rice.

"That's to add some taste." Orihime said brightly as if all that were actually necessary to add 'some' taste.

"I think that would add just a bit more then 'some' taste, Orihime." Rukia said with a look of disbelief. "I think all that would be too much for my taste buds to handle."

Orihime frowned as she looked over at all the things she had taken out, "Then what should I add to it?"

"I'm fine with just plain rice." Rukia said in hopes of having a normal meal.

"But that's so boring." Orihime complained looking back at her.

Rukia smiled and went over to her and said, "Aright then, let's experiment a little and add another ingredient."

Orihime beamed at Rukia while she examined the food that had been brought out. After a minute they met eyes once more as Orihime awaited a new idea for a recipe only to be quickly disappointed as Rukia said, "I don't think any of this would really compliment a rice dish."

"Then I'll make something else that we could use this for." Orihime said.

"That could work if you didn't already start the rice." Rukia said with a slight smile. "How about we just widen the selection a little? What else could we use?"

Orihime thought about it for a moment before going through one of the cupboards in silence. As she did Rukia glanced back at the other ingredients that Orihime wanted to use with a mixed look of disbelief and horror. She tried to imagine what the meals Orihime usually ate were like and came to a horrible thought that made her shudder. She forced her mind onto other things as Orihime looked over at her with a few other things in her hands.

Rukia was mildly amazed that one of the things would actually go good with rice and decided to try and persuade Orihime into using that and little to nothing else then that or there would be no telling what it would taste like. There was no way Rukia was willing to find out either though she couldn't deny that she'd prefer an awful taste in her mouth then talking about what had happened between her and Ichigo. She was nowhere near ready to discus it and thankfully Orihime had noticed that.

It was surprising for Rukia as she began her argument only to be agreed with almost immediately as Orihime added the normal ingredient to the ones she was already going to use. By the time all the proper ingredients were assembled and the rest were put away the rice had finished cooking and all that was left were the other ingredients. They scrambled to get it all ready before the rice overcooked and somehow managed to make a decent dish which they ate in a bit of silence at the kitchen table.


	5. Chapter 5

_5 New feelings_

After the late dinner the two girls retired to the couch to watch a movie before bed but ended up watching more then one as it managed to keep Rukia's mind off of matters with Ichigo. They were already halfway into the second movie and Rukia was watching it almost intently. It was a movie that took place in the Edo Period and she found it very interesting. The first movie they watched took place in the current period and Rukia found it difficult to follow along sometimes as the technology and terminology used was unknown to her as it wasn't present in Soul Society.

Rukia was completely into the movie as a fight scene started and she studied the moves being made by the samurai and found some of the moves were flawed. She was so lost in it that when Orihime fell onto her shoulder she was startled. A slight smile formed on her face as she found that Orihime had fallen asleep. Her smile warmed as she gently repositioned the girl so she would be more comfortable. Orihime's head rested on Rukia's lap and the movie was quickly forgotten as she noticed how cute the girl was while she slept.

Everything else was forgotten as Rukia just watched the girl sleep with a small smile. She had never noticed how peaceful this girl could look. No matter what the situation was Orihime could always be happy and cheerful but Rukia had never seen her while she was this much at peace. Rukia's smile warmed as she placed a hand gently on the girl's shoulder and she cuddled up a little. A part of her felt happy at the sight of this amount of peacefulness. It saddened her to know that the moment she woke up all her concern would come back and she would do whatever she could to accommodate any of Rukia's needs or anything else on that matter.

For a long time Rukia just watched Orihime sleep on her lap and she had long since forgotten about the movie. She didn't even know what time it was nor did it even matter to her for at this moment she felt a little happy and a lot closer to Orihime as well. There was no way of knowing when her hand abandoned Orihime's shoulder to play with her hair as it was all done absentmindedly. Even after doing it for awhile she was completely oblivious to her own actions. Until, at least, Orihime showed signs of waking up then she became overly aware of what she was doing and that the movie had ended.

As she brought her hand away from Orihime's hair the girl's eyes slowly opened. Orihime found herself on Rukia's lap as she was watched with a warm smile. Her eyes widened a little and she sat up quickly with a blush, "I'm sorry, before I knew it I was passing out."

"It's alright, Orihime." Rukia said gently. "It was pretty late when we put the movie on."

"Ah, I completely forgot about the movie." Orihime said frantically as she looked back at the tv to find that her timer had shut it off. "How long was I asleep?"

"I don't know." Rukia replied. "I wasn't keeping track of the time too much."

Orihime gave her a worried look only for it to fade as she found how much better Rukia looked now. She no longer held a slumped posture and she didn't look completely defeated in fact she even looked a little happy now and that was a major step forward. Orihime smiled warmly at the other girl and her smile was returned without hesitation or force. This made Orihime's smile warm to a new degree as she felt happy that Rukia was doing better now. She didn't know how much better she was but it was enough for her to smile like this without anything being said.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Rukia asked kindly.

"Are you tired?" Orihime asked in response.

"You don't have to be so considerate." Rukia chuckled. "If you're tired then we'll go to bed."

Orihime frowned a little before Rukia gave in and said, "I could use some sleep."

This time Orihime smiled and said, "Then we'll go to bed together."

A slight blush formed on Rukia's face at how casually Orihime had said something so misleading and hadn't even noticed it as she got off the couch in a happy mood. The blush on Rukia's face deepened as she wondered what exactly Orihime had implied by that. Her nervousness increased a little as Orihime went to the room ahead of her with little more then a back glance and a look in her eyes that Rukia couldn't read. She nervously followed Orihime into her bedroom and found her going through her dresser looking for something to sleep in for both of them. Once more she gave Rukia an apologetic look and said, "I don't think I have anything that will fit you."

"That's alright," Rukia replied with a smile. "Anything will do."

She was given another apologetic look as Orihime handed her some pajamas, "If they're not comfortable then tell me and I'll try to find something else that will fit you."

"That isn't necessary, Orihime." Rukia said as she accepted the pajamas. "This will do just fine for me."

Orihime gave her a worried look that was ignored as Rukia began to change with her back to the other girl. After a moment Orihime began to change as well. When Rukia finished changing she turned back and found Orihime in the middle of changing so she quickly turned back around as a deep blush formed on her cheeks and she found herself a little less jealous of the other girl's height and bust then she normally did when she found Orihime a little exposed or obliviously flaunting her figure to others.

After awhile Rukia chanced another glance and found she was finishing so she turned back around completely oblivious to the blush that still held her cheeks. When Orihime noticed it she became overly concerned and went over to her, "Rukia, are you alright? Your face is all red."

She was completely taken aback as Orihime placed their foreheads together in search of a fever. Rukia's heart raced and the blush on her face got even worse at how close the other girl was to her now. Orihime pulled away with an even more worried look and said, "You're really warm, are you feeling okay?"

"Y-yeah," Rukia stuttered only to make things worse.

Orihime took her by the wrist and brought her over to the bed. Rukia was too nervous for words as she was laid down on it. Her body shook a little as Orihime was propped over her for a moment before she left the room quickly. She placed a shaking hand on her forehead where Orihime's forehead had been only moments ago and found she was indeed warm but knew it was just from the blush on her face caused by the sudden action. A small sigh escaped her as she sat up on the bed knowing Orihime's concern was just a misunderstanding and nothing more.

It was only a moment before Orihime returned with a cold compress. When she saw Rukia sitting up she began expressing her concern once more while Rukia tried to explain she was fine without letting on to the slight arousal the girl had caused with her actions as it probably wouldn't go too well between them. Once more Rukia was forced to give into Orihime's will and was laid down and the cold compress was on her forehead to cool down the fever she didn't even have.

While Orihime nursed Rukia she began to notice how deep the girls concern for her was. It was too deep for just a small fever that wasn't even present. It was like something worse had happened and Orihime wanted to do everything possible to get her better faster. Rukia questioned this for a long time before recalling why she was there in the first place. She had completely forgotten her reason after finding that Orihime had fallen asleep during the movie.

At this realization a wave of guilt overflowed her as she recalled the arousal she had felt when Orihime had checked her temperature and how much she admired the girl while she had slept. Rukia looked away from the other girl now ashamed of her actions and out of fear of using this girl as a form of rebound. She felt a hand on her shoulder as Orihime said, "Try not to think about him so much right now and just focus on getting better. You've been under a lot of stress lately haven't you?"

Rukia nodded but couldn't stop thinking about it regardless as it had been completely taken away by Orihime's presence before and now that knowledge startled her. It began registering to her that Orihime's presence took away the pain she felt as if it were being healed just from her kindness but now that it was misplaced the pain was returning to her and it wasn't something she wanted to feel. She looked back over at Orihime and found how worried she still was.

"I don't have a fever, Orihime." Rukia said once more. "I just got a bit flustered and nothing more then that."

"But your face is still all red." Orihime said with a worried tone.

"I'm fine," Rukia said reassuringly. "You're worried too much about me."

Orihime gave her a concerned look once more and removed the cold compress and checked her temperature once more. This time Rukia was able to control herself a little more and didn't become nervous with the action. When Orihime moved away Rukia began to sit up without a hassle or argument. She smiled at Orihime and said, "See, I'm perfectly fine. No need to worry."

This time she got a warm smile without unease so she smiled back. As they smiled at each other Rukia began to feel the pain go away once more. Her smile warmed considerable as Orihime sat next to her on the bed. They shared a smile for awhile before Rukia leaned over and kissed Orihime. When she pulled away they both held a deep blush but it wasn't long before Rukia kissed her once more and brought her down to the bed where Orihime gripped her shoulders tightly.

Rukia pulled away quickly, "Is this alright, Orihime?"

Orihime avoided her eyes and shook her head as she was too embarrassed to do anything else. Rukia released her immediately and got off of her and the bed before hurrying out of the room. Her hand covered her mouth in her shock of her own actions. She hadn't even realized what she was doing until Orihime gripped her shoulders. After that she realized what was happening and she found how wrong it was. Orihime was doing what she could to be a good friend and Rukia was trying to use her body to forget Ichigo's. What must be going through her mind right now?

Orihime laid on her bed with wide eyes and a deep blush as her fingers unconsciously rubbed her lower lip. She was in a complete daze as she relived what had just happened and each time it replayed in her mind her blush deepened and her arousal grew. She didn't move at all for a long time and sleep was the last thing on her mind as all she could think about was the look in Rukia's eyes when their lips separated for that one moment before she was lowered to the bed. There was more then just pain in them so this wasn't just an attempt at a rebound.

Rukia laid on Orihime's living room couch with a pale face. She didn't keep track of time at all but she knew it was really late as she had been there for a long time and it was almost pitch dark in the room. The only light was from a small space in the curtains that allowed some light to creep into the room and no more then that. One hand was resting over her chest as her heart continued to race as she feared what would happen when the sun came up and the two confronted each other. It was unlikely that she would be able to meet Orihime in the eye properly.

Both laid on their back staring up at the ceiling and wondering if they'd be able to face the other in the morning and they each tried to comprehend the actions that took place between them. The whole night passed them by and there wasn't a moment of sleep between them as they continued to go over the situation and how to even go about it. As the sun began to come up there was no movement in the small apartment at all even with the sound of Orihime's alarm going off.

Orihime blinked and came out of her thoughts and found that her alarm was beeping. As she shut it off she found that it had been going off for half an hour already leaving her only half an hour before she would have to meet Tatsuki. She glanced over at the door and feared what was to come on the other side. Whatever happened could not be avoided however and would happen the next time they managed to meet eyes with the other.

Rukia barely heard the alarm stop and she slowly sat up in wait of whatever was to come. She knew very well that Orihime was a kind person and was also very accepting but she had crossed a line last night and there was no way she would be forgiven for her actions. At least she had controlled herself enough to stop when Orihime became frightened. She was even able to stop completely when the actions were denied and she even left the room afterwards also so that must count for something.

After a few minutes the bedroom door slowly began to open and Rukia hesitantly glanced over. Even with someone like Orihime there was no way of playing it off as a joke especially in this situation. Orihime stood in the bedroom doorway looking at Rukia nervously before coming out. She had already changed into her uniform and was ready to leave for school. The look in her eyes told Rukia that she was not forgiven or even trusted now as it was unreadable.

A painful throb started in Rukia's chest because of this and it made her want to take everything back even her confrontation with Ichigo the previous day just to have things return to normal between them. She slowly rose to her feet as Orihime walked towards her. She was at a complete loss of what to say to her right now so she just said the first thing that came to mind, "Orihime, I need to apologize for last night."

"It's alright, Rukia." Orihime said kindly. "I care about you a lot and I don't mind doing those things with you. I just don't want you to use me to get over Ichigo."

Rukia was so speechless at this development that she didn't even believe it were possible. She had never said anything about dating Ichigo so for her to figure that out was pretty amazing though she had implied that she had figured it out when Rukia told her and Tatsuki that she had lied a little about the guy she was with. Orihime made her way over to Rukia and pulled her into a close embrace, "I don't want to be just a fling for you to get over him. I love you too much for that.'"

"I could never do that to you, Orihime." Rukia insisted. "I just couldn't help but kiss you last night but then I didn't want it to end at just one kiss."

The two shared a smile before Orihime leaned down and kissed Rukia. When they parted Rukia held a nice blush across her face and Orihime smiled slyly down at her, "Now we're even."

Rukia's blush deepened considerably at her words and sly smile. It deepened even more as she found that Orihime wasn't all that willing to let her go. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around Orihime as she recalled that she had been pretty quick to hold her the day before as well. This made her wonder how much she liked doing the things that were done the night before or if it were even her first time. But if Rukia had been Ichigo's first then there was no way a girl such as this could have been doing those things at any time or day. She was simply far too innocent for any sort of intimacy with anyone.

They both held each other for a long time and looked deep into the other's eyes. The longer they looked at each other, unable to look away, Rukia began to realize what it was that took away the pain of her breakup and all the reasons she wanted to be around Orihime now and not anybody else. She even understood why she felt safe enough around her to show how vulnerable she could really be. At some point she had fallen in love with Orihime.

All her problems now were completely forgotten as Orihime's loving smile banished them with ease. Her blush deepened a little as she placed a hand on Orihime's cheek and asked, "Is it alright if I kiss you right now?"

Orihime's smile widened as she said, "It's alright."

Rukia smiled as they leaned closer to share a kiss. Their lips lingered against one another for a moment that was utter bliss for them before they parted with even warmer smiles. It wasn't long before Orihime leaned down for another kiss but this one didn't last as long before it ended and it didn't hold the same amount of bliss as their last one had. They parted with a warm smile but the warmth didn't last as their embrace also came to an end.

A surge of empty bitterness hit Rukia as she once more recalled why she was here and what she was doing with Orihime. Even with her feelings for the other girl it was wrong to do those things so soon after she broke up with Ichigo. No matter how much she wanted to stay in Orihime's arms she couldn't do that until she was completely over Ichigo to be completely sure that she wasn't using the other girl in any way or form. The thought of doing that was more devastating then her thoughts of losing Ichigo had been just the day before.

She stepped away from Orihime as she spoke, "Orihime, I really care about you a lot but until I get over Ichigo completely I don't want any intimacy between us. As soon as I'm in you arms I just completely forget about what happened and I don't want to keep doing that to run away from it. I don't want to use you at all."

"Alright, but before we start that…" Orihime trailed off and stepped forward to claim Rukia's lips once more with a bit more passion as they open mouthed kissed. This kiss lasted a few minutes before Orihime pulled away with a smile.

"W-what was that?" Rukia stuttered with a full blush.

"It's incentive." Orihime said with a smile and a wink.

Rukia's blush got deeper as she slowly sat back onto the couch at a complete loss for words. A quick knock on the door snapped her out of her daze enough to find that Orihime wasn't even in the living room anymore making her wonder what just happened. When it slowly registered to her a slight anger rose at what Orihime had done to her. It was bad enough she had called it 'incentive'. She turned around on the couch and loudly said, "That was not necessary, Orihime."

She heard the girl giggle in the other room making her get up and follow the source of the laugh in a bit of anger only for it to fade at the sight of the cheerful girl and the strange look she was getting from her best friend. When Tatsuki noticed Rukia had joined them she seemed a little surprised, "Shouldn't you be in your uniform?"

"No, I'll be gathering my stuff from where I stayed before then arranging a place to stay before I go to school." Rukia said. "I just have to wait for him to leave before I can go back to avoid things getting awkward."

"Who cares if it gets awkward?" Tatsuki asked. "Just go over and get your stuff and if he makes it awkward then kick his ass."

"I don't think I can face him just yet." Rukia said sadly. "Not with how things ended up."

She noticed a sly smile on Orihime's face, that was unknown to Tatsuki, and her face reddened with a blush. Orihime was completely aware of what she had done and was silently boasting about it. The blush on Rukia's face was easily noticed by Tatsuki as she asked, "Are you alright?"

"I need to go lay down." Rukia said and left the kitchen quickly.

Tatsuki watched her awkwardness with a strange look before looking over at Orihime with an even stranger look as she went about her things without even seeming to notice what had just happened. She was tempted to question her about what had just happened only to think better of it. Rukia didn't seem as down as she had yesterday except for when she mentioned going to get her things after that there was no hint of sorrow in her. Something had definitely happened after she left last night or before she got here this morning.

If anything was going to be brought up on the matter it should be Rukia's better mood, "Rukia seems a lot better now."

"Yep, she's moving on." Orihime said happily as she packed a lunch for school.

"That was fast." Tatsuki said taken aback at how she had been so hurt by the breakup only to move on the next day. "What made her move on so fast? Did she not really like the guy she was dating?"

"She did but she may have fallen for someone else." Orihime said happily.

"What did you do?" Tatsuki asked with a slight sigh.

"I didn't do anything but give her some incentive." Orihime smiled.

Tatsuki didn't say anything further as she just watched the other girl go about things in a cheerful manner. She let out a sigh and walked out of the kitchen, "I'm going to ask her myself."

Orihime continued happily without paying much mind to Tatsuki going to talk to Rukia as she made an extra meal for her to eat whenever she got hungry. She was completely absorbed in what she was doing that she barely noticed Tatsuki had returned to the kitchen almost immediately after leaving it to see what was going on. Despite how absorbed in what she was doing she looked over at Tatsuki almost questioningly about what the two had talked about and found she had a slight smile on her face.

"What happened?" Orihime asked.

"I thought she was moving on too fast but I guess I was wrong since she's completely passed out right now." Tatsuki said. "You two must have been up pretty late talking about things weren't you? I can see how tired you still are also."

"I'll be fine but I wasn't aware she hadn't slept last night either." Orihime said with complete worry. "I must have really upset her."

Tatsuki gave her a worried look but didn't question what happened as she sat at the kitchen table while Orihime had completely stopped what she was doing. Her worry increased for her friend as she hunched over the counter a little as if trying to fight off tears. It wasn't long before Tatsuki was by her side with an arm draped around her shoulder in comfort while she did her best to make sure the other girl was alright, "So why don't you tell me what happened last night."

"Quite a few things happened last night." Orihime said with a distant smile. "Even though it was just a mistake at first I know it wasn't this morning."

Tatsuki's eyes widened as she turned Orihime so that they faced each other properly and her hands held the girl's shoulders. There was anger in her voice as she spoke, "What exactly happened between you two last night, Orihime?"

"We kissed a little." Orihime said with a smile.

"What did she do to you?" Tatsuki demanded as if looking for a reason to start a fight.

"Nothing, she stopped when I told her to and she stayed on the couch last night." Orihime said.

"What about this morning?" Tatsuki asked.

"I kissed her and told her how I felt about her." Orihime said happily as if no anger was present in Tatsuki's eyes. "She wants to get over Ichigo completely before we do anything else though."

"Wait, she was dating Ichigo?" Tatsuki said in complete shock before considering it for a moment. "How was it so obvious but no one figured it out?"

Orihime was so stumped with the second question she hardly cared that Tatsuki had found out who Rukia had been dating. Both wondered about it now but only one was on a more reasonable track as Tatsuki said, "Maybe it's because they're complete opposites of each other that no one realized it. Not to mention they never even acted like they were in a relationship."

"They weren't able to." Orihime said sadly. "Rukia can't be in an open relationship. No matter who she's with it will have to be a secret from everyone. If she's not she could get into a lot of trouble."

"Then don't get overly excited or you'll get her in trouble." Tatsuki said with a slight smirk.

"I'm not going to get her into trouble." Orihime pouted. "Why would you say that, Tatsuki?"

"Well it's pretty obvious the two of you are going to end up getting together eventually and you're definitely going to be too excited about it." Tatsuki said.

Orihime looked almost hurt as she hadn't even thought about how their relationship would be when they started dating. She let out a sad sigh as the realization that they wouldn't be able to do very much together set in. Tatsuki smiled at her and said, "Since you're both girls though you can get away with going on dates as long as they aren't too obvious and not many people would really suspect anything since two girls spending time together and doing a lot of things is completely normal, right?"

Her expression went from hurt to bright in an instant as she hugged Tatsuki tightly, "I didn't even think of that."

"I know that's why I said it." Tatsuki laughed as she held Orihime awkwardly.

Even if she would never admit it knowing that Orihime held feelings for another girl was a little odd for her. As long as Orihime was happy she wouldn't voice any complaints about what she did or who she dated as long as they didn't hurt her in any way or force her into anything she didn't want. Tatsuki didn't care that she wanted to be with another girl but she had no idea about her feelings for Rukia so the sudden knowledge of it left her a bit off but no more then that. She already accepted that Orihime had found someone and was happy for her.

It wasn't long before Orihime stopped hugging Tatsuki. When they separated Orihime's smile was brighter then ever. Tatsuki smiled in return before going back to the table as she said, "You know, you really shouldn't have said who Rukia was dating so easily."

Orihime's smile vanished as she quickly said, "I was caught off guard so I didn't think about it properly and I don't like to keep things from you."

"I know you don't but this isn't exactly your secret to keep." Tatsuki said as she sat down. "It's up to Rukia if she wants to tell people who she was with."

"I'll go apologize to her then." Orihime said as she started for the living room.

"You shouldn't wake her up, Orihime." Tatsuki said.

"I won't wake her up." Orihime smiled. "I'll apologize with a kiss."

"I thought you two weren't going to do anything until she got over Ichigo." Tatsuki said.

"She's asleep so it doesn't count." Orihime said as she left the kitchen.

"It does if I know about it." Tatsuki called. "I'll be sure to tell her all about it next time I have the chance."

She let out a sigh as she knew Orihime wasn't going to listen to her about this. Tatsuki waited patiently for Orihime to come back completely oblivious to what was going on around her just like she always was when she fretted over someone she liked. The only difference between this time and all her other crushes was that this was actually going to go somewhere eventually. The moment Rukia get's over Ichigo they'll get together without hesitation and without word, if Orihime could really stay quiet about it, though Tatsuki would still be told about it and she would happily listen and tell her friend how happy she was for her.

After awhile she glanced at the time and found that they would be late for school if they didn't hurry up and leave but even still they'd have to walk fast just to make it for the bell. Tatsuki got up and went to the living room in hopes of not interrupting anything that she didn't want to see. When she found Orihime however her irritation rose a little. Orihime was lying on the couch all cuddled up with Rukia and completely passed out. There was no way either of them were going to get up for school that day.

Tatsuki turned to leave but stopped as she noticed something out of place. She glanced back and found where Orihime's hand was. There was a slight twitch in her face as she reached over and shifted Orihime's arm so it was placed more appropriately before going back to the kitchen to leave a small note to state that she didn't want to wake her since she had already admitted to not getting a lot of sleep and also to say she would be back after school to see how things were going. The note was written quickly and Tatsuki excused herself from the house and locked the door with the key she had.


	6. Chapter 6

_6 Mistakes_

Rukia slowly woke from her sleep and found Orihime resting with her. A warm smile dawned on her face at the sight of her resting so peacefully once more and it warmed even more as she wrapped her arms around her waist and held her tight. Her heart swelled with her love for this girl, the one girl she didn't want to let go of. She placed a kiss on Orihime's forehead making her cuddle up to her even more. Rukia smiled happily and cuddled up as well before closing her eyes once more.

She laid there and paid complete attention to Orihime's soft breathing on her neck and everything else this girl did while she was in her arms. Rukia had slept enough and held no tire now but she would lay here with Orihime as long as it were possible with no complaints what so ever. When Orihime stirred from her sleep Rukia would be saddened at the fact that she couldn't hold her while she looked so peaceful but she would be overjoyed that they could share conversation with one another.

When Orihime finally began to stir from her sleep hours had passed but Rukia was still happily holding her in her arms without a care for time, hunger, or any other need that she may have had over the time she laid there. As Orihime opened her eyes she glanced up at Rukia and found she still seemed to be sleeping only to be proved wrong as she asked, "How did you sleep, Orihime?"

"I slept great." She replied cheerfully.

"I'm glad to hear that." Rukia said as she opened her eyes and looked over at her with a warm smile.

Orihime returned her smile before claiming her lips for a warm kiss. It was short and unsatisfying for both of them but just being with the other was enough for them to be happy. They held warm smiles for the other as Rukia allowed her hand to run through Orihime's hair causing a blush to spread across the human girl's cheeks. She tried to hide her blush in Rukia's neck only to be denied as her lips were taken in a quick and sneaky manner.

This kiss wasn't as short as the last one had been and was much more satisfying for them but as they parted they each noticed a small crave in the others eyes and went back to satisfy the other. Rukia entered Orihime's mouth without hesitation and the action was accepted as the girl repositioned herself more comfortably and in more of an arousing position for the other. Orihime was over Rukia now as they continued vigorously as if this was the only chance they would ever have to show their lust for the other's body.

They continued with little pause between them and each pause was only a quick intake of air so that they could continue. Their chest ached for a proper intake of air but it was almost forbidden by their lust for the other. As Rukia continued she found it impossible to ignore how aroused she had become in this situation. She let her hands slide from Orihime's back to her waist where they were still for a moment before she began to undo the girl's shirt from the bottom up.

Orihime's shirt was undone with ease and pulled apart for better access as Rukia's hands began their exploration. Their kiss halted as Orihime moaned. Strands of saliva still connected their lips and ran down the side of Rukia's chin as she panted for breath. It wasn't long before she placed kisses on Orihime's neck bringing forth more moans from the girl. Her moans were beautiful to Rukia and she wanted to hear more of them as they drove her lust even more.

They continued for as long as Orihime allowed it before she pulled away. She sat up and Rukia wanted to follow her up immediately and shift positions but instead remained lying down and waiting for Orihime to take off her shirt or do something else to make their intimacy increase. But what happened broke her heart as a tear made its way down her cheek. Rukia's eyes widened as she sat up to take the girl in her arms but she was forced back down. "Orihime?"

She looked away as if completely hurt by what they were just doing. Another tear rolled down Orihime's cheek and Rukia immediately raised her hand to wipe it away but her hand was smacked away before the girl got off the couch and ran into her bedroom. The door was slammed shut as Rukia was getting off the couch to go after her. She got to the door and tried to open it but it only got a few inches before stopping and not going any further.

Rukia pressed her whole weight onto the door as she tried to open it while calling out to Orihime, "What's wrong?"

She was answered by the sound of sobs making her increase her efforts to get into the room but to no avail. All her weight was against the door as she pressed her whole body against it in hopes of getting in. Eventually she gave up trying to force herself in and began banging on the door, "Orihime, let me in or at least tell me what's wrong."

There was no answer but only a continuation of sobs from the other side of the door. Rukia had her hand on the door with a painful sob in her throat but was unable to shed any tears. She closed her eyes in a wince at the pain that was in her throat as it moved down to her chest. The pain she felt worsened as she said, "Orihime, talk to me. What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Was I going to fast for you?"

Once more there was no answer to her questions and she slid to the ground in a complete wreck. All she could hear from the other room was a sob that only got worse as time went by. Both were in equal amounts of pain but only one was able to cry it out as the other didn't feel safe enough to cry. They remained in their pained state without further word between them as it was clearly not welcome to Orihime as she didn't want to say anything at all.

Rukia was faintly aware of someone entering the apartment but did nothing to investigate or greet the person. She didn't even bother to look away from the door even as a hand was placed on her shoulder. She didn't care about the other person even as they tried to get into the room only to find the door wouldn't move. Rukia was lifted up and brought over to the couch where she was sat down. Tatsuki sat beside her with a bit of a sigh, "What happened?"

"I don't know." Rukia replied. "She just ran away in tears and hasn't said anything at all."

"I'll see if I can figure it out alright, just wait here." Tatsuki said.

Tatsuki stood and went back to the door and gently knocked, "Orihime, its Tatsuki. Can you let me in?"

There was a moment of silence before the door opened slowly as Orihime hid behind the door and out of sight. Tatsuki walked in and the door was closed behind her as she glanced over to find Orihime wasn't even facing her. She went over and pulled her into an embrace, "So what happened?"

"We may have gotten a little carried away when we woke up…" Orihime trailed off.

"Why is your shirt undone?" Tatsuki asked with slight irritation but got no answer. She let out a sigh and walked back forcing Orihime to do the same so they were away from the door and their conversation wouldn't be overheard by Rukia if she went back to the door to try and listen. "Is this better?"

Orihime nodded and said, "We got a little carried away but we didn't do much. It was all Rukia actually but I didn't mind."

"Okay, so what led to you locking yourself in here and full of tears?" Tatsuki asked.

"After she undid my shirt and began kissing my neck, she…" Orihime trailed off as more tears fell making Tatsuki hold her tighter. "She saidIchigo's name."

"I see," Tatsuki said slowly. "You shouldn't be so hard on her about it, Orihime. He meant a lot to her and they only broke up yesterday. No matter how much she likes you she'll still have a thing for him whether she notices it or not and no matter how much she cares about you. If you do these things now you're just going to be a rebound even if that's not her intention. Subconsciously he's still really important to her and that won't change until she gets over him. Just give her some time and space to get over him or she'll just use you without realizing it. As much as you like her and want to be with her she needs space right now."

Orihime said nothing in response but it wasn't necessary for Tatsuki to know that she was upset about this as a tear landed on her arm followed by another and another. Tatsuki held her tight for a moment before letting her go and doing up her shirt and said, "It wouldn't be good if Rukia walked in with me holding you like this while your shirts wide open. It's probably not something she could handle right now."

This time she got a nod, "I don't want to be separated from her though."

"You don't have to be but you can't be all over each other like before otherwise it's just going to happen again and she won't move on properly and you two won't have a proper relationship." Tatsuki said. "I'll have a talk with her about the same thing when you're alright but until then I'll be right here."

"Thank you, Tatsuki." Orihime said weakly. "You're a good friend."

"I do what I can." Tatsuki said with a slight smile. "Besides, you're my best friend I can't just let you stay upset. I wouldn't even be able to call myself your friend if I ignored your problems."

Orihime smiled warmly at the care she was getting but she was saddened that Rukia was on her own right now and completely clueless as to what was going on right now and even between them. She didn't want Rukia to be alone right now as she clearly didn't understand what was going on as she had even asked what was wrong. "Tatsuki, I'll be fine on my own so can you talk to Rukia about this?"

Tatsuki let out a slight sigh, "You're really worried about her aren't you?"

"Of course I am." Orihime said but held a hint of pain in her voice.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do." Tatsuki said but didn't release Orihime just yet as she had another thing to speak to her about. "Before I talk to her though…"

Rukia sat in silence on the couch as she waited for either Tatsuki or Orihime to come out and tell her what was going on. It was a long time before she heard anything from the bedroom so as she heard a noise by the door she stood up quickly. When the door opened however she was filled with disappointment as she found Tatsuki making her way over with her clothes. She threw them over and motioned her to the bathroom, "Get changed, we're leaving."

"She hates me now doesn't she?" Rukia asked sadly as she sank back down to the couch.

"She doesn't hate you." Tatsuki said. "Actually she wants you to stay here but its better that you don't. I called my mom and asked her if you could spend the night. The two of you need to be separated until you get over Ichigo."

Rukia's eyes widened with fear as she looked away from her and to the ground in complete shame. Tatsuki gave her a sympathetic look and sat down next to her to place a hand on her shoulder, "Orihime's my best friend and she really likes you so I'm not about to let you use her for a rebound even if that's not what your intentions are that's what's happening."

"I'm not…" Rukia trailed off as she thought about it more. "Am I?"

"Yeah, you are." Tatsuki said delicately. "You and Ichigo broke up yesterday and look what you were doing with Orihime. She does love you but you're hurt and vulnerable. You need to get over Ichigo and figure out if you really care about Orihime or if this is just a fling to help you get over him. I want you to stay away from her until you figure these things out so you don't lead her on if this does just turn out to be a fling. You've seen how she looks at you, if this is just a fling she'll be just as crushed as you were yesterday. Can you really do that to her?"

"No," Rukia said immediately. "I couldn't do that to her no matter what."

"I'm glad to hear that." Tatsuki said warmly. "Now hurry up and change."

"Yeah," Rukia said distantly and got off the couch and went to go change in the bathroom but she stopped as she came close to Orihime's bedroom door. She hesitated before going over and placing her hand on it, "Orihime, I'm really sorry about what I did and I hope you can forgive me."

She didn't wait for a response as she continued to the bathroom to change as Tatsuki slowly got up from the couch and went back to Orihime's room but stayed in the doorway. Orihime was still in tears but it wasn't as bad now as it had been minutes ago. Tatsuki watched her sadly as she asked, "How are you feeling now?"

"I'm feeling a little better." She replied with a forced smile.

"If you need anything just call me." Tatsuki said kindly.

"I'll be fine on my own." Orihime assured. "You don't have to worry so much."

"I'll worry regardless of if you tell me not to." Tatsuki said with a smile.

Her smile faded a little as she heard Rukia come out of the bathroom. Tatsuki glanced over and found she once more looked completely broken. They held each others gaze for a moment before Rukia looked away in shame for her actions. A slight sigh escaped Tatsuki as she looked back at Orihime and found that she looked no better. This was clearly very painful for both of them. "Orihime, we're going to get going now. Call if you need anything."

Orihime nodded faintly before the door was closed and Tatsuki walked towards the front door and grabbed Rukia by the upper arm to lead her away in case she tried to get back into the bedroom. Things weren't looking good as they only continued to get worse as time went by. They left quickly and Tatsuki locked the door behind them and continued to guide Rukia away from the apartment without a fuss even being made as it seemed dragging her was unnecessary.

They continued on in silence for a few blocks before Tatsuki looked over at Rukia and said, "I didn't tell my mom much of what was going on so if you act really upset she's going to give both of us the third degree and try to involve herself in this."

"I'll act like nothing's going on then." Rukia said distantly.

"You don't really have to act like nothing's wrong, just try to avoid her as much as you can." Tatsuki said. "We'll be in my room most of the time anyways so there won't really be a problem. Just fake a smile when she talks to you. I've noticed that you're pretty good at that."

"Yeah," Rukia said.

"How long has it been since you really smiled from your heart?" Tatsuki asked.

Rukia fell silent as she thought about it for awhile. They got to the next street before Rukia was even able to answer, "You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"That long?" Tatsuki asked with a frown.

"There's that and the story that goes along with it." Rukia said sadly. "It's not something to talk about. It's my past and my burden."

"One of the reasons for having friends is so that no burden is carried alone." Tatsuki said as she placed her hand on Rukia's shoulder with a weak reassuring smile. "You don't have to carry things on your own when people care about you because they'd gladly help you carry your burden and if they didn't then they aren't true friends."

"Even still, it's not something I would be able to tell you." Rukia said distantly. "It's not that I don't want to tell you or because I don't want to relive it, you just simply wouldn't understand and ask too many questions then I can answer."

"What If I promised not to ask questions?" Tatsuki asked. "Would you tell me then?"

"I'm dead and this is an artificial body." Rukia said calmly. "I live in a place called Soul Society and my job here is to guide dead souls to the next world while slaying any hollows that may appear."

"You couldn't come up with anything more believable?" Tatsuki asked with a slight smirk.

Rukia didn't respond but gave her a slight irritated look. Tatsuki slowed down for a moment as Rukia continued on without much care. "Don't tell me you were being serious."

"Fine," Rukia said bluntly. "I don't care what you believe in, that's up to you."

She continued on as Tatsuki hurried to catch up but didn't say anything on what had been said or even the way it had been said so bluntly either. They walked side by side once more but now it seemed as though Rukia had thrown away her pain and become emotionless. Tatsuki gave her a worried look but wasn't given a chance to say anything as Rukia spoke, "I should just return home and request a transfer."

"Where would you go?" Tatsuki asked.

"Anywhere but here, it doesn't matter to me." Rukia said sadly. "The further away the better."

"What about Orihime?" Tatsuki asked. "By running from your pain you will only cause pain to others around you that care and Orihime will suffer the most if you leave."

"I know." Rukia said sadly. "Even if it feels right with her what if it really is just a fling with her? I wouldn't be able to face her if it were."

"If it is just a fling for you then I'll sit her down and talk to her about it but if you try to lead her on I'll knock you out." Tatsuki said.

Rukia chuckled a little and said, "That's fair."

Tatsuki looked over at her with a smile that was surprisingly returned. "You seem to be cheering up a bit."

"With what I do I can shut out all emotion when it's necessary." Rukia said. "I only let it out so much before because of my relationship. Now that it's over there's not much reason for me to have so much of it out in the open."

"What about Orihime?" Tatsuki asked.

Rukia let out a sigh, "It would be best to let things go for the time being."

"What if it's not just a fling?" Tatsuki asked.

"Then I'll let her in." Rukia said. "If I don't carry feelings for her then I'll have a talk to her about it properly."

"As long as you don't run from everything I won't complain about how you go about it." Tatsuki said. "You have your own way of dealing with things and that's fine as long as you do it right. Just don't be afraid of going to others when you need to talk about things. Dead or alive you're still a friend and I'll still lend you my shoulder whenever you need it."

A slight smile formed on Rukia's face as she said, "Orihime did say you were a great friend to have."

"I just do what I can for my friends." Tatsuki said with a shrug. "Isn't that what friends are supposed to do when there's any sort of problem and even when there's not?"

"Yeah, but I think you overdo it a bit sometimes." Rukia said.

"How so?" Tatsuki asked.

"This isn't your concern but you're still doing all this." Rukia replied.

"Orihime is my best friend and she cares a lot for you." Tatsuki stated. "I consider you a friend also so this is my business. Also, I swore to protect Orihime from getting hurt when we were in middle school so there's no way I could let you stay there and use her for a rebound no matter if it could go anywhere or not, I don't care. If you hurt her I'll kick your ass."

"You've already stated that." Rukia said.

"Then call me persistent on the matter." Tatsuki said.

"You certainly are." Rukia said with a smirk.

Tatsuki slowed to a stop at a corner despite the lack of cars on the street causing Rukia to look over at her with a questioning look, "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, I was just wondering if we should detour around Ichigo's house to avoid bumping into him." Tatsuki said.

"It's alright, he's not home right now." Rukia said.

"Did he tell you he wouldn't be?" Tatsuki asked.

"No, I just sense his presence on the other side of town." Rukia said calmly. "Even if he were to go home right now he wouldn't see us. From the looks of it he's occupied."

"That's pretty freaky." Tatsuki said.

"You'll be more freaked out by the end of the night." Rukia said calmly as she continued down the street.

"I almost don't want to know." Tatsuki said as she caught up with her.

"Then I won't tell you." Rukia said with a shrug. "Either way it doesn't matter when I leave Karakura."

"How do you figure that?" Tatsuki asked.

"Once I leave Karakura not many people will actually remember me being around, including you." Rukia said calmly. "You may have picked up on my absence in your memory during the summer though you may recall some questions being raised about my absence."

Tatsuki stopped with wide eyes as Rukia looked back at her with a cool gaze, "Are you starting to believe me?"

"Does Orihime know about this?" Tatsuki asked with a shaky voice.

"She's known about me for awhile now and so have a few others but for secrecies sake I won't mention their names or their involvement." Rukia said. "In case you're thinking it, Orihime is not dead or in any immediate danger."

"So what exactly is her involvement then?" Tatsuki asked with a growing worry.

"You should probably speak to her about these things instead of hearing it from me." Rukia said. "I shouldn't speak for her on that matter."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Tatsuki said a little sadly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put that out there for you." Rukia said.

"No, it's alright." Tatsuki said. "I knew she had been keeping something from me for awhile now. I'm just glad that I'm starting to get something on it."

"Don't you have secrets as well?" Rukia asked.

Tatsuki's face paled as she looked away to avoid questions on it, "I tell Orihime everything."

"No you don't" Rukia said. "There isn't one person in the human world that knows every single thing about another no matter their relationship. It just isn't possible and sometimes things are kept out of good reason or simply they're too embarrassed to speak of it. Think about it, there are quite a few things that you're keeping from her isn't there? You don't have to tell me if you're nervous about it."

"I don't want to talk about it." Tatsuki said quietly. "I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of it, it just involves another person and I shouldn't talk about it without them present or discussing it with them also."

"I won't pursue the matter." Rukia stated calmly. "If you ever wish to speak of it or have any problems with it then I will listen if you'll let me."

"Yeah, thanks, Rukia." Tatsuki said with a smile. "It would probably be easier to tell you about this then anyone else right now."

"Why's that?" Rukia asked curiously.

"I think you'd be able to understand it a bit more then anyone else." Tatsuki said. "It would be more of your expertise I guess."

Rukia raised an eyebrow and asked, "What do you think my 'expertise' are?"

"Death and keeping major secrets for god knows how long." Tatsuki said slowly.

"I'll give you that." Rukia said. "But that's confidential information so you can't talk about it openly."

"Then why did you just come out and say it?" Tatsuki asked.

"I guess I was just tired of the secret." Rukia said with a shrug. "It's nice to talk about it to someone that doesn't have much experience in the matter. But you wouldn't recall your own personal experience with these things at all."

"What?" Tatsuki asked. "I don't remember anything about this ever being mentioned or happening around me."

"Around the time I transferred to school you were attacked twice by hollows." Rukia said. "Both times your memory of this happening was erased, by me. Your memory was replaced by another, random, one. You may recall the time a sumo wrestler tried to blow up Orihime's apartment."

Tatsuki's face had paled completely as she recalled that incident, "So the reason I woke up in pain was because I was attacked?"

"Yes, both you and Orihime were targeted by that hollow." Rukia said. "This situation might not be good to bring up around Orihime since it may still be sensitive for her."

"So only my memory was erased at that time?" Tatsuki asked. "Orihime knew about everything for that long?"

"No, her memory was altered first but she remembered what had happened later on." Rukia said. "I don't know exactly when she found out about everything but it was sometime after my disappearance from the human world."

"What happened when we were attacked?" Tatsuki asked.

"It might be easier to hear it when you're sitting down." Rukia said. "Orihime is your best friend after all. Besides if you start to remember what happened there's no telling how you will react to it and I don't want to find out right out in the open."

"Alright, but you have to tell me when we get to my house." Tatsuki said firmly.

"I will." Rukia confirmed. "For now try not to think about it too much."

"That's going to be hard." Tatsuki said.

"Think of something pleasant." Rukia said. "If that doesn't help then I can start to pry into your secrets."

"Please don't." Tatsuki begged as her face paled even more. "I don't want that brought up right now."

"Then think of something else to talk about." Rukia said. "Or be content with silence for the rest of the walk."

"Silence will be fine." Tatsuki said awkwardly.

The two continued on down the street while Rukia considered getting the few things in her possession from Ichigo's so she wouldn't have to worry about it later on. As they neared his house she decided it would just be easier to do it now while he was still on the other side of town. Rukia glanced at Tatsuki and said, "If you don't mind I'm going to grab my stuff from Ichigo's since we're here."

"Sure, do you want me to go with you?" Tatsuki asked.

"No, it would be easier if I went in on my own." Rukia said. "Just keep going and keep an eye on my gigai for me."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small circular pill before giving Tatsuki a quick glance, "Try not to freak out and just act normal."

Rukia quickly swallowed the pill and fell out of her gigai before using shunpo to go straight to Ichigo's room. She wasted no time in going to his closet and taking most of her things and slipping them into her robes. The clothing would have to be left behind though which wasn't much of a problem since she had money for more and those clothes didn't even belong to her in the first place. When all her things were gathered she used shunpo to leave the house and catch up with Tatsuki and her gigai.

They had only gotten a few houses away before Rukia caught up with them and silently reentered her gigai while Tatsuki became more freaked out with everything. "I'm guessing this is why you always run out of the classroom."

"It's easier if my gigai were close by in case of injury." Rukia said.

"I've never really seen you injured though." Tatsuki said.

"The wounds I get are rarely major." Rukia said. "The hollows that come to this town are far weaker then I am."

"So you're stronger then all the others?" Tatsuki asked.

"No, I just don't rush in foolishly." Rukia said. "I'm also not usually the main focus for our enemies."

"Why not?" Tatsuki asked.

"Because I'm not the strongest and I don't rush in foolishly." Rukia said. "If you're being attacked head on you're not paying much attention to your sides or your back. It's not always necessary for everyone to rush out either for a single hollow but when there's more then one then it becomes necessary."

"So do you get hurt a lot?" Tatsuki asked.

"No and neither does Orihime." Rukia replied. "Her role doesn't exactly put her in danger too often. She's in the least amount of danger when hollows appear but that doesn't mean things don't always go smoothly and she does also get hurt."

"Yeah, I know." Tatsuki said. "I have seen her injured a few times and she never explained it to me."

"I'm sorry for being so vague on the matter but I can't say much else about this." Rukia said.

"It's alright, we're at my house anyways." Tatsuki said distantly.

They fell silent as they walked up to her house with a slight awkwardness and a dread of how her mother would react to their mood or even Rukia's presence there. As they entered Tatsuki's house they were greeted happily before they quickly went upstairs to Tatsuki's room where they sat in a long silence that didn't let up for a long time as they both stared at the wall across from them. Tatsuki was still adjusting to the news about her guests and her best friend's involvement with the afterlife and other various things that she had yet been told about.


	7. Chapter 7

_7 One secret for another_

An hour of silence had gone by since they had arrived at Tatsuki's house and they had nothing to say to the other about anything that wasn't a major secret until recently and that was an unwelcome topic between them at this point in time. Tatsuki had lain down and had been staring up at the ceiling for quite awhile now without word as Rukia watched the ground without care for anything that went on around her.

"So," Tatsuki started suddenly. "You and Ichigo, huh? It's hard to believe that no one ever figured that one out."

"We were always really carefully about it." Rukia said.

"Why though?" Tatsuki asked. "You two are teenagers so it's normal to be in a relationship."

"I'm not a teenager, I only look like it." Rukia stated. "I've lived far to long to still be called that."

"So then how old are you?" Tatsuki asked curiously.

"Even though I'm dead that's still rude to ask." Rukia said as she glanced over at her.

"Sorry." Tatsuki said. "I thought you were fine with it since you brought up your age."

"Age means nothing where I'm from." Rukia said. "I really don't care about it."

"Then why did you get offended about it?" Tatsuki asked.

"I just don't want to guess at how long I've lived for." Rukia said. "That's all there is to it."

"I see." Tatsuki said awkwardly. "I'm a bit curious, are you only interested in younger people or just people that are alive?"

"I'm interested in whoever catches my eye." Rukia said. "I don't go out looking for certain types of people. Besides, most humans can't even see me and their bodies are frail so why would I waste my time in search for one to love."

"You forgot that we also die." Tatsuki said.

"The dead can die as well." Rukia said. "Time does not affect our life but we do age at a slow rate and we can be killed."

"What then?" Tatsuki asked. "Is there an afterlife to the afterlife?"

"No, once we die we are reincarnated as human once more." Rukia said.

"Is there a time limit that you have?" Tatsuki asked. "Like can you only be dead for a hundred years or something?"

"If that's how it worked then I would have already been reincarnated by now and so would everyone else I know in Soul Society then the human world would be well overpopulated." Rukia said.

"There's a lot of dead people there I take it." Tatsuki said. "Is it really crowded where you're from?"

"It depends on the district." Rukia said with a shrug. "The richer districts are more populated then the poorer districts. The sectors in the Seireitei vary on the amount of soul reapers in the squad that run that sector."

"Is it crowded where you live?" Tatsuki asked.

"No, I live with my brother and the only others that are present are the servants." Rukia said.

"I'm guessing your family is rich then." Tatsuki assumed.

"Yes, but we're also nobles." Rukia corrected. "Do you have any other questions?"

Tatsuki fell silent for a moment as she thought about it some more before speaking, "Earlier you said I would be freaked out about all this but it doesn't really seem all that freaky. Unless you're holding back on what would really freak me out."

"Maybe we should go find a hollow then." Rukia said with a slight smile. "The one's that come here are usually big so maybe that would be enough to freak you out."

"I'll pass." Tatsuki said.

"Suit yourself." Rukia said with a shrug. "It's better if you didn't get involved anyways."

"Wait, if I were to get involved then there would be less danger for Orihime right?" Tatsuki asked as she sat up.

"That would only make things worse for her and everyone else already involved in these matters." Rukia said meeting her eyes with a stern look. "Don't entertain that thought any further."

Tatsuki's posture slumped as she said, "So I guess I'll be useless to her after all."

"What are you talking about?" Rukia asked.

"Back when we were in middle school I promised to protect her but with the way things are I can't do that anymore." Tatsuki said sadly as her posture slumped even more.

"I see," Rukia said distantly. "There isn't much you can do to protect her from hollows but you can still do everything you can to make sure she lives as much of a normal human life as she can. That's not something I can ever do for her no matter how much I love her. Even if the two of us become lovers you will still be able to do so much more for her then I ever could."

Tatsuki smiled over at her a little at her before saying, "But I wouldn't be able to protect her like you can."

"There are still things that you can protect her from that I can never protect her from." Rukia said. "Aren't there others that depend on you for the same thing or something similar?"

Her eyes widened a little as she mumbled something too quietly for Rukia to hear properly so she shrugged it off as something she wasn't supposed to know and didn't pursue it. They fell into a short silence before a slight smile formed on Tatsuki's face as she said, "I guess I've been overlooking a few important things lately."

Rukia placed a hand on her shoulder, "As long as you've realized that and you do what you can to change it then it's alright but if you don't do anything to change it then you have a problem."

Tatsuki's smile strengthened a little as she said, "Yeah, I know."

"Then you have nothing to worry about." Rukia said kindly.

"Yeah, thanks, Rukia." Tatsuki said with a warm smile.

They shared a smile before there was a slight knock on the door before it opened causing both girls to look over at the girl standing there. Tatsuki stood up with a paling face while Rukia held a look of confusion for the new presence. "Chizuru, what are you doing here?"

"Getting forgetful lately?" Chizuru asked almost angrily.

"No, things just came up." Tatsuki said.

"I'm so sure." Chizuru said as she crossed her arms. "What's she doing here?"

"You're over thinking this, Chizuru." Tatsuki said.

"That's not what it looks like." Chizuru said. "What is she doing here?"

"She's spending the night." Tatsuki said nervously. "I'm helping her out with a few things."

"Like?" Chizuru asked as the anger grew in her eyes.

Tatsuki met Rukia's eyes nervously for approval to speak of it but was denied with a stern look making her bring her gaze back to Chizuru and found her anger had grown to a further depth. Rukia remained silent as Tatsuki approached Chizuru and placed her hands on her shoulders as she said, "Look a lot of things happened today and-"

Chizuru cut her off with a slap and said, "I can't believe you."

Nothing else was said as Chizuru left the room while Tatsuki just stood there as if at a loss of what had just happened. There was silence between them for a few minutes until they heard the front door close loudly making Tatsuki's posture completely slump before she met Rukia's eyes with a slight smirk, "You're not the only one with a secret relationship. Well, I guess we're both single now too."

"I'm sorry, if I had known I would have explained everything to her." Rukia said.

"It's alright," Tatsuki said sadly as she walked over to her desk and opened the top drawer and pulled out a small box. "We've been together for a year now. Today was our anniversary."

"If I had known I wouldn't have come here today." Rukia said.

"Its fine, I knew it was our anniversary today and I still brought you here." Tatsuki said. "I didn't think she would overreact so much or just show up. We have this small rule that we email each other when we're hanging out with someone but since I thought she would have emailed me before coming here I was going to let her know then or at least after things settled down a little."

Tatsuki walked back over to the bed with the box and opened it with a slight smile, "What do you think? I know she likes things like this so I got it for her."

Rukia looked at the necklace with a slight frown before reaching into her pocket, "I'll make sure she gets it."

"What do you plan on doing?" Tatsuki asked.

"I'll slip it into her pocket then you'll call her and tell her about it." Rukia said.

"What if she notices you putting it in her pocket?" Tatsuki asked nervously.

"She won't." Rukia said. "Trust me, I'll make things right between you two."

Rukia swallowed her soul candy and separated from her gigai in silence before taking the necklace and looking Tatsuki in the eye with a look of pure determination, "Things will work out for you two. I'll do whatever it takes for it to work."

Tatsuki faintly nodded before Rukia took off using shunpo. She felt horrible for what had happened between Tatsuki and Chizuru and felt responsible for what had happened because she had wanted to keep things a secret but she didn't know that the two of them were in a relationship. It had already occurred to her what had happened in Chizuru's mind, yesterday at lunch she had spoken of a small dilemma with someone she didn't name and it was likely that it had been assumed that she was talking about Tatsuki since the two of them being seen together like that on that important day for the couple was enough to connect dots that didn't connect at all.

It wasn't long before she caught up with Chizuru and found she was in tears with her head hung low. She walked beside her and took the necklace out of the box and gently slid it in her pocket before putting the small box in her robes. She stood there for a moment and watched Chizuru continue home almost wanting to bring her back to Tatsuki's room to have things explained to her properly. In the end she knew it would be stupid to bring Chizuru back but she wanted things to work out between them.

She groaned in aggravation as she went back over to Chizuru while carefully looking around for any possible witnesses before she quickly got in front of her and placed a hand on her chest putting her under a rather weak kidou spell. Her eyes widened for a moment before closing and her body became limp and she fell onto Rukia who easily brought her over her shoulder and used shunpo to disappear from anyone that could possibly come across them.

Rukia made the trip as short as possible and was soon back in Tatsuki's room and found her pinned against the floor by her gigai with her arm in a bad position. She rolled her eyes and placed Chizuru on the bed carefully before saying, "Get off of her, Chappy."

Chappy obliged happily and hurried over to her side and looked at Chizuru, "Was it a hollow?"

"No, it's just kidou." Rukia said.

"What happened?" Tatsuki asked frantically as she rushed to Chizuru's side and took her hand. "Is she alright? Don't tell me she was attacked."

"Tatsuki, she's completely fine." Rukia said before handing her the empty box. "I put it in her pocket but I couldn't let her go home in tears so I brought her back."

"Then why is she unconscious?" Tatsuki asked as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I put her under a kidou spell and I can take it off anytime." Rukia said. "But first we need to be able to explain to her how she got back here though it might be better to skip that part if we can."

"How would we do that?" Tatsuki asked as Rukia entered her gigai.

"Simple, we lie." Rukia said simply.

"I don't like lying to her." Tatsuki said.

"We can't tell her about me but I'll at least explain why I'm here and what happened in the past couple of days." Rukia said.

"Alright," Tatsuki agreed and slid her hand into her pocket took out the necklace with a slight smile, "I guess I should give this to her properly now, huh?"

"Do you want me to leave and give you two some privacy?" Rukia asked.

"No it's fine." Tatsuki said as she placed the necklace back in the box then put it in her pocket. "Can you wake her up now?"

"Of course," Rukia said kindly and brought her hand to her chest as it glowed a little. "Wake up."

Rukia stepped away so that Chizuru would only see Tatsuki as her eyes slowly opened, "Tatsuki, what happened?"

"Everything's alright now." Tatsuki said gently and placed a kiss on her forehead.

She pulled away and they shared a warm smile before Tatsuki spoke once more, "There's a couple things we have to talk about. Don't overreact about it."

Chizuru gave her a concerned look as she was brought into a seated position. When she was up she noticed Rukia's presence and looked back to Tatsuki, "What's going on?"

"You were right yesterday at lunch." Rukia said distantly. "We broke up yesterday evening but because of certain circumstances I was living with him. Now I don't really have a place to stay so I'm spending the night here. I should have another place to stay arranged by tomorrow evening."

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't have said anything about it yesterday." Chizuru said. "It wasn't any of my business."

"It's alright, he didn't love me the way I loved him." Rukia said. "He was just forcing himself to try and make me happy so we decided to just end it."

"Can I go kick his ass?" Tatsuki asked.

"No, that would bring too much attention to things." Rukia said. "Besides, we decided to be friends."

"Do you think that will actually work?" Chizuru asked with a smirk.

"It has to regardless of any feelings that remain between us." Rukia said.

"Why put yourself through all that to make him happy?" Tatsuki asked with outrage.

"It's not to make him happy." Rukia said distantly. "Now it's just orders."

"What do you mean orders?" Chizuru asked.

"Hold on," Tatsuki said sternly. "Tell me it's only him that this applies for."

"It's classified." Rukia said coldly.

Anger grew in Tatsuki's eyes as she got off the bed and leapt at Rukia enraged at her response but in her anger she was at a disadvantage. Rukia ducked under her swing and struck her easily in the stomach pushing her back from the force of the hit. Tatsuki was off the ground for a moment before stumbling backwards then falling as she struggled uselessly to get air in her lungs so that she could breathe properly. Chizuru was by her side instantly trying to get her to breathe as she choked on the ground.

It wasn't long before Chizuru glared over at Rukia, "That wasn't necessary."

Rukia watched her emotionlessly with a cold look and said, "I can use any force I deem necessary at the time that classified information is questioned."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Chizuru asked angrily.

"Don't… bother… asking." Tatsuki breathed.

Chizuru brought all her attention back to Tatsuki as tears rolled down her cheeks freely. Tatsuki was slowly getting air into her lungs as she tried to sit up. As she met Rukia's eyes she smirked and said, "Remind me not to piss you off in the future."

"That won't be necessary." Rukia said coolly.

"Still thinking about leaving?" Tatsuki asked.

"It would be for the best if everyone just forgot about me." Rukia said.

"That's not true and you know it." Tatsuki said. "I know you want to do things the right way but running away now isn't the right way to do things. Can you really just leave things the way they are, especially after what you started? You said it yourself, it feels right to you so why leave?"

Rukia didn't respond as Chizuru shifted her gaze between the two girls at a loss of what was going on, "Is anyone going to explain this to me or am I gong to continue being clueless?"

Tatsuki looked up at Rukia and asked, "Just how classified is everything?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Rukia asked as she looked at Chizuru.

"Yeah," Chizuru said. "I've got plenty of secrets that no one knows about."

"Except for our relationship." Tatsuki said with a slight smirk. "She found out."

"What?" Chizuru asked loudly. "How did she?"

"Well, I kind of gave it away after you collapsed." Tatsuki said nervously. "Oh, that reminds me…"

She trailed off as she reached into her pocket with a warm smile, "Considering the situation this is probably going to be the best time for this today."

"I'm going to out step out." Rukia said.

"Yeah, thanks." Tatsuki said with a smile.

Rukia nodded and left the room as a smile formed on her face at the two girl's relationship and how things were working out for them now. She leaned on the wall across from the door as she thought about how thing would work out with Orihime if it even could work but then she began wondering how she was even doing right now with the way things were left. A part of her wanted to go back to Orihime's apartment and be with her and make sure that everything was alright with her. Even if it would be hard to just sit with her and spend time with her and do nothing else she wanted to be there with her no matter what they did together.

She heard a slight excited squeal from Tatsuki's room making her bring her attention away from her thoughts as her smile widened as she tried to imagine the look on Chizuru's face right now at the sight of the necklace. How happy were those two now as they enjoyed their anniversary together while they could before she would rejoin them. She glanced down the hall as she considered leaving to give them their evening together without a third wheel ruining the evening that only comes once a year for them.

Her smile warmed a little as she walked down the hallway and through the house quietly to avoid another small conversation with Mrs. Arisawa to explain why she was leaving. She didn't know where she was going to go exactly but she wanted to spend the night with Orihime in her arms or even vise versa, it didn't matter all she knew was that she loved the girl. That was clear to her when she saw the look Tatsuki held in her eyes when she spoke of her relationship with Chizuru and when she held the necklace she saw the look in her eyes grow. It was at that moment that Rukia noticed how much Tatsuki cared for Chizuru and then she began to realize that she wanted what they had but with Orihime.

She managed to get through the house and leave without being noticed by anyone. As she walked down the street she considered where she should go before heading back to Orihime to be with her for the rest of the night. She walked down the street in the direction of Orihime's apartment as she walked to the river to relax there for awhile and think about what was going on now so she could work out her emotions properly so that she wouldn't hurt Orihime again. If she did then she wouldn't be able to face her again.

Her walk was slow and calm as she thought about her relationship with Ichigo, how it had begun at Soul Society after he saved her life and ended just the other day on the roof of a building like they didn't have anything special between them other then their interactions. She held him so dear to her and yet all they had were secrets and intimacy. They barely ever went out on dates and when they did it was never anything fancy to avoid suspicion. All they had were movies, lunches, dinners, and small walks that were to and from school most of them time.

Before she had realized it she was sitting by the river and looking into the choppy water as she sorted everything out properly. She sat there for a long time just thinking everything out as she lost track of time and what was around her. It wasn't until she noticed someone sit beside her did she bring her attention away from her thoughts as she found Orihime present beside her with a worried look, "Tatsuki said you took off without saying anything. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it just wasn't right for me to impose on her like that." Rukia said. "I decided to give her some privacy, it's a bit of a special day for her after all and I have no right to intrude on it. I just need to sort everything out on my own right now."

"I didn't know it was a special day for Tatsuki." Orihime said as she dawned a confused look. "She never mentioned that today was special at all."

"It's not so much special she just had plans already so I didn't want to stick around." Rukia said with a smile. "Besides, she helped me realize something important."

"Oh, and what's that?" Orihime asked with a smile.

"That I'm in love with you and I want to be with you." Rukia replied happily.

Orihime's face brightened and she jumped into Rukia's arms happily with a warming smile. Rukia held her without hesitation or care for restraining herself at this moment because she wanted to enjoy it more then anything else. It was clear that she had worried this girl a lot in the past couple of days and she wasn't pleased with being responsible for her worry. Orihime pulled away a little before taking Rukia's lips for a quick kiss that was more then welcomed. When they separated they held warm smiles and a look in their eyes that asked for more but they restrained themselves.

"Orihime, as much as I want to be with you I still need to sort out my emotions before we do anything more then a quick kiss here and there." Rukia said sadly. "No matter what we can't get carried away until I am completely over Ichigo because I can't stand there being even the smallest chance of me using you to forget him."

"I understand." Orihime said with a smile. "I can wait for you."

"It shouldn't be long." Rukia said with a warm smile.

"Will you be spending the night at my house again tonight?" Orihime asked with a growing smile.

"I'd love to." Rukia said kindly.

They watched each other for awhile with warm smiles before Rukia laid back on the grass and watched the cloudy sky above them. They were silent for a long time as Rukia thought out everything she needed to and came to a small realization that she was not too pleased about and made tears form in her eyes though they didn't fall as Orihime noticed them and took hold of her hand with a gentle smile to assure her that everything was going to be alright. Rukia smiled faintly in response before continuing to think back on what she never noticed about her relationship with Ichigo. She had never truly loved him as she had so foolishly believed that she had for the months that they were together.

There was someone else that she loved but had mistaken Ichigo for him as they looked identical. She had known that it wasn't him but the resemblance allowed her to have the relationship she had always wanted with the other man but could never have. The whole time she had been with Ichigo she had been using him to have a relationship that had never once been possible for her. When she had first met him she had acknowledged the resemblance but had known that it wasn't the same man but he was very similar to that man and somewhere along the lines their identities merged in her eyes but her heart knew it was a different man that she was with and it ached for the real thing not someone that looked like him.

With this realization she knew that she would have to apologize properly to Ichigo for what she had done to him so easily without even knowing what it was that she was really doing. After realizing it she couldn't help but wonder if he had caught on to it which made him pull away from her in the first place. No matter the reason for his distance it was still upsetting for her but it was understandable considering what she had done to him over the months that she used him unknowingly. There was no amount of apologizing that would make up for what she did and nothing she could do for him would amount to his forgiveness either. Once he found out he wouldn't want to see her again.

Rukia glanced over at Orihime and found that she was looking out at the water with a happy smile on her face as she continued to hold her hand. A smile formed on Rukia's face as she realized that no matter what happened she would be happy if she were with Orihime. She tightened her grip on Orihime's hand as she realized that there was no way she couldn't love this girl. Orihime looked over at her with a worried look in response to the tightened grip but smiled happily at the sight she saw.

She sat up and placed a kiss on Orihime's cheek and said, "Shall we get going?"

Orihime's smile brightened, "Sure."

They rose to their feet and walked up the hill and down the street to Orihime's home and they did so with happy smiles and little conversation that mostly covered school and life and how things could work out between them though she refrained from saying that they wouldn't have to be as secretive as she had been with Ichigo because Orihime wasn't being watched like Ichigo was giving them more freedom when they were together as long as Ichigo never found out about it or saw them together while they were being even slightly intimate with one another. The two girls could be seen together but not touching in any way or form that would raise suspicion around the others or anyone that could watch them.

When they reached Orihime's street Rukia took her hand making their smiles warm significantly but as they entered Orihime's apartment their hands were released as they embraced the other tightly while Rukia rested her head on Orihime's chest for awhile as she listened to her human heart beating strongly in her chest with a happy look in her eyes. Eventually she managed to pry herself away from Orihime's chest and looked her in the eye as the girl leaned down to take her lips for a simple yet deep and meaningful kiss that spread joy in each of their hearts.

When they separated Rukia smiled, and not the fake smile she had shown others for the years since that man died. This was a real smile that she held from her heart where all her love for this single human was held. The one human that was able to capture her so attentively in just a single day where she showed her that it was alright to find solace in another and let that single person in completely. She wanted little distance between them during their relationship but there would still have to keep secrets even though with this girl she didn't want to keep anything from her no matter what it was. Rukia wanted to be completely open with Orihime even though there were still a lot of things that were classified to her because she was human but that fact never bothered her and it wouldn't bother her even in the slightest in their future together.

End


End file.
